Shattered Inside
by ThexCurus
Summary: An accident occurs while Kyoya goes to America for his father. Now, he's left with a mark of that accident forever... Rated for many things... NEW CHAPTER POSTED!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello my wonderful and sweet readers! :3 I'm back with a new fic! Now, I've constantly had this idea and plot, but I've always been hesitant because I know this is a touchy subject. ****A very big thing in today's world: AIDS. **

**Yeah. But I'm going to take a bold step and write my first fic involving the ever dangerous STD known as AIDS. Now, the pairing of this fic will be undetermined, because I want to see what people want. I've done KyoyaXTamaki, and KyoyaXKaoru. I'm currently making a KyoyaXHaruhi friendship one-shot, and I finished a TamakiXKyoya friendship one-shot. So, to expand my pairing choice, as this fic progresses, I want YOU, the readers, to decide and help me mold this fic's romance. :3 All I know is that this will mostly revolve around Kyoya.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HOST CLUB! I ONLY OWN THIS PLOT AND SOME CHARACTERS! I ALSO ONLY OWN THE NAMES OF KYOYA'S BROTHERS! THANKS!**

**NOTE ADDED 8/28/13: I am fully aware NOW that Kyoya's older brothers DO have names in the manga, but I didn't find out until I posted more chapters to this fic. I am keeping the names as they are, though, because well, I've spent to long writing to change it. So sorry.**

**-oOoOoOoO-OoOoOo-**

_**CHAPTER 1**_

Always he was pressured to be perfect... Always. He had to be the best in everything... He had to surpass Rin and Akira... Even his childhood was stolen. Never could he play with boys his age. He couldn't play with his big sister, or his big brothers... Who decides these things? What almighty force controlled the way his life ran?

_'My dad...'_

Though his father didn't control the way his life was, he did control what he should do... Kyoya was living under his father's thumb, and was expected to be "perfect."

_'Perfection is just a word...'_

That was Kyoya's thought. He didn't believe in perfection. It was only a stupid word that someone made up thousands of years ago while creating the english language. How could he be perfect?

"Kyoya... You're being sent to America to meet with a man named Kurt Baxter and his son. They're thinking of making connections with our company. Kurt Baxter is the owner of Baxter Inc. a powerful electronics company who's incredible creations may benefit us. His son is Xephyr Baxter. You'll be in America for two weeks. Help them choose to make connections with us. Persuade them."

These were the orders of Yoshio Ootori. Kyoya usually disdained being ordered, but in this case, he was thrilled. This was the first time his father trusted him enough to send him to another country to negotiate with another company. _'Maybe I've finally proven myself to him...'_

Kyoya immediatly returned to his room to get his bags ready. As he packed, the door opened. "So, dad finally is putting you to good use?" Kyoya sighed in irritation.

"Jelousy is an ugly thing, Akira." Kyoya looked up at his oldest brother. The raven haired man looked at his younger sibling and smirked. Behind him appeared a brunette with glasses. Kyoya smiled a bit, "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted him to realize my potential? This is amazing!"

Akira laughed, "Even Rin and I weren't sent on any business trips at your age." The brunette, Rin, gave a soft clap, "Kudos, Little Brother." he said.

Kyoya smiled, glad to recieve praise from his brothers. Though they never really were together, all three of them seemed to get along. Akira, being the eldest of them was collected, calculating, and serious. Rin, as the second oldest, was a little more playful. His appearance was one thing Kyoya used to tease as a child, claiming that he looked like the bassist of an American band.

Rin strolled over to Kyoya's couch and sat down. He picked up a portrait that was placed on the coffee table in front of the couch, "Are you gonna let your little boyfriend know?" he teasingly asked, looking at the picture of the Host Club.

"Tamaki isn't my boyfriend, Rin. He's my friend and nothing more." Kyoya answered from his space on the floor. Rin giggled, "Ooo, then can I have him?" It was no secret to the family that Rin was gay. Normally Yoshio would be angry with such a thing, but seeing as Rin had made such a success of himself, the fact was pushed aside and ignored.

Kyoya struggled to shut the suitcase, pushing the contents down as much as he could, but to no avail. He somewhat felt like Fuyumi. "Rin," he called, "help!" Rin and Akira came and sat on the bag, allowing Kyoya to zip it closed. "Thanks."

Akira slid to the floor, "So... Nervous?" He asked. Kyoya gave a shrug, "Not really. Though this is my first time going out on my own..." he looked at the portrait on his table, "What do you think mom would be thinking...?"

Silently all three of the Ootori boys looked at the photo. The picture was of their missing mother and them when they were children. In the photo their mother had five year old Kyoya in her arms, while fifteen year old Fuyumi leaned against her mother's shoulder. Seventeen year old Rin was kneeling beside his mother and was resting his head on her knee, and eighteen year old Akira stood behind his mother, his hand gently resting on her shoulder. Their mother was their comfort. With her... They felt safe and protected...

"I think..." Akira said softly, "She'd be proud about this..." smiling, he ruffled Kyoya's silky raven hair, "Or she'd be holding your waist trying to keep you from walking out of that door." he laughed.

Kyoya could only laugh as well, "Probably." Slowly, their laughs faded and they just sat together, looking at their mother's photo. Rin was the one to break the silence, "I miss her..." They all had to agree... Their mother dissappeared when Kyoya was seven.

"Well, we should go." Akira stood, "I have some work to get done." Rin followed his actions, "Yeah, I should go, too. I have a date with a sweet looking man." he fluffed his hair with vanity. Kyoya couldn't help but laugh.

Once the two brothers left, Kyoya looked down at his bag. Then his eyes drifted to the phone. _'I guess I should tell him. Don't want him spamming my phone or emails.'_ He picked up the phone and called Tamaki.

**-oOoOoOoO-OoOoOo-**

**Okay, first chap is mostly about Kyo and his brothers. Rin especially will play a pretty good part in this fic so... GET USED TO HIM!**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HOST NOR KYOYA'S SIBLINGS. ONLY RIN AND AKIRA'S NAMES AND PERSONA'S. I ALSO ONLY OWN THE BAXTER'S.**

**NOTE: AS THIS STORY PROGRESSES, PLEASE, NO ONE BE OFFENDED OR HURT. THIS FIC IS NOT MEANT TO BE EMBARRASSING OR HURTFUL IN ANYWAY. THANK YOU.**

**-oOoOoO-OoOoOo-**

**CHAPTER 2**

Kyoya entered the office of Kurt Baxter. He already felt uncomfortable. He waited patiently for the head of Baxter Inc. to show. The Baxter Inc. Headquarters was located in New York. Mr. Baxter's office was high off of the ground on the top floor of the building. _'To think he climbed up the corporate ladder to get here.'_ He could only imagine the work Kurt Baxter had done to get where he was now.

The door opened and a middle-aged man with blonde hair and emerald eyes walked in. He was well dressed in an ebony suit with a crimson tie. He smiled slightly, "You must be Kyoya Ootori." he said. With that said, the man gave a bow in the respectful Japanese style, the action repeated by Kyoya.

"Yes, sir. It's a pleasure to meet the head of Baxter Inc."

Kurt stood straight and headed to his seat. Behind him walked a boy about Kyoya's age. The boy had messy, spiked blonde hair and sapphire colored eyes. His top lip had two silver studs and his ears were pierced with six piercings each. He was dressed in the same suit as Kurt.

"Xephyr, say hello to Kyoya Ootori."

The boy bowed respectfully, "Hello Kyoya." was his polite greet. He took the seat beside his father, "Please, sit Mr. Ootori." Xephyr said.

Before anything was discussed, Kurt gave a bit of a look around, "Oh dear. Xephyr, I think I left my briefcase in the lobby." he stood, "Please excuse me, Mr. Ootori. I'll be back." he quickly left, shutting the door behind him, leaving the room silent.

Kyoya locked eyes with Xephyr and slowly smiled, "You can relax now. You don't have to be so proper." His comment seemed to surprise the boy, "I'm not that dense."

Xephyr slowly smirked, "Thanks..." he let out a heavy sigh as he sunk in his seat, "So, you're from Japan?"

_'Well, I guess it could benefit the situation if I befriend this boy.'_Kyoya thought, "Yes. Have you ever been there?" Xephyr gave a bit of a grin and nodded, "Yeah. My mother was Japanese. My parents met there while my mother was writing her book."

"Is she at all connected to your father's work?"

The smile fell a bit and Xephyr said, "No... She passed away a few years ago." The silence intensified there. A pang of sympathy was felt.

"I'm sorry." Kyoya apologized, "That must have been hard..." Xephyr gave a bit of a nod. They sat like that for a moment, really neither knowing what to say. Xephyr then sat up, "Hey, you're going to be here for a while, right?" When Kyoya nodded, he continued, "How 'bout we hang out sometime. You know, without the business stuff between us. You don't seem much older than me."

"I'm only seventeen..."

Xephyr gave a laugh and clapped a bit, "Sweet! Then you'll love being with me." he rejoiced, "We start tomorrow!" he gave a large grin to the Ootori, "This'll be so fun."

A laugh escaped Kyoya's lips, "I look forward to it, Xephyr."

"Zeke." was the interruption, "My friends call me Zeke for short."

With a slight push of his glasses, Kyoya gave a nod, "Very well, Zeke."

**-oOoOoO-OoOoOo-**

The night was chilling and not many people were out. The time was possibly around ten or eleven. At this time Kyoya would be asleep, but in the past few days he had been letting Zeke take him to different places. Each one was unique and something new.

The first time he followed Zeke, the blonde took him to meet his friends. That first night Kyoya learned something about the business prodigy.

"You... Cross-dress?"

Zeke stopped from zipping up a plaid skirt over his tight black jeans, "Does that bother you?" he asked, grabbing a white plain woman's shirt.

"No, it's just... You didn't seem to look like the type to dress in women's clothing." Zeke laughed and pulled on a pair of black leather fingerless gloves, "You'd be surprised. So, I guess this is kind of a red flag about my sexuality, huh?"

"I think of it more as a billboard." Kyoya teased, "I'm also guessing your father doesn't know?"

"Nah. He wants a prodigy son, not a rainbow flag." Zeke grabbed a sweater, "It's hard, you know. Hiding this from my dad." he walked over to Kyoya, "I'm sure it's easier being straight, huh?" Kyoya only gave a slight smile, his eyes looking away. Xephyr blinked, "No way." Kyoya nodded silently. "I thought you'd be-"

"Homosexuality seems to run in my family. I have a gay brother already so, I'm not surprised." Zeke only laughed softly before grabbing Kyoya's hand and leading him out of his impressive estate.

In the days that followed, Zeke became more and more interesting to Kyoya. At times he even confided in the blonde about things even Tamaki and the others didn't know.

"You are so not afraid of itty bitty spiders." Zeke denied Kyoya's claim, "You? A tall, intimidating guy like you cannot be afraid of something as minuscule as a spider."

"Deny it all you want but I am completely petrified of spiders." Kyoya insisted with a smile, "I used to be so afraid when I was younger that the sight of just one Daddy Long Leg made me freeze and faint on the spot." Being with the Japanese American made the Ootori feel... Different. He felt like an actual seventeen year old.

Zeke laughed a bit as he lay on his back, "You know... You're a real cool guy, Kyo." he said, "I've honestly never talked this much to anyone. Not even my boyfriend." Kyoya slightly reddened but gave a soft smile regardless, "Thank you..."

Kyoya was always around Zeke. Even when he wasn't discussing with Zeke's father, Kyoya was beside the blonde. Instead of staying in a high-class hotel, the Shadow King stayed with Zeke in his room. At times they never even slept. They would spend hours talking.

Two days before Kyoya left, Zeke and him were laying in the dark in Zeke's bed. Zeke, being an affectionate young man, had his arms wrapped around Kyoya's figure, his head resting on Kyoya's back, "Hey, Kyo?" he asked in the dark. He felt Kyoya shift slightly from the feeling of Zeke's piercings moving against his skin.

"Hm?"

Zeke smiled, "Have you ever gone to a Rave Party?" He wanted to make sure Kyoya left America with a memory of something amazing.

"No. This is the first time I've even heard the word..."

"Tomorrow night, I'm gonna take you to one. They're so amazing." Zeke grinned, "You promise you'll come?" He held out his pinkie. In the dark he felt Kyoya hook his own pinkie onto his.

"I promise..." was the tired reply. Zeke knew that even if he was tired, Kyoya always stayed awake for conversations.

And that is how Kyoya found himself in the dead of night, being pulled by his hand to a rather large building by Zeke and a rainbow haired, crimson eyed boy that he knew as Kairi. Kairi was Zeke's ex-lover, and a frequent user of drugs. Personally, Kyoya wasn't fond of Kairi, but the nineteen year old in reality was a good friend, inside and out.

"So, this is your first rave, Cho?" Kairi had chosen to call Kyoya Cho, which meant butterfly. It wasn't really known why...

"Yes... I really don't know what exactly to expect."

Kairi only gave a sharp toothed grin as he pulled his black trench coat closer, "A piece of advice. Keep a firm eye on your drink." The advice was veig and unclear to Kyoya.

Inside, it was a different world. Zeke held Kyoya's hand tightly, "Don't get lost!" he shouted above the music, "I don't wanna lose you!"

An hour into the whole thing, and Kyoya finally realized why Kairi had warned Kyoya. People were carried out in intervals as some passed out from drugs, alcohol or just plain exhaustion. Zeke stayed by Kyoya, keeping one eye on him and the other on the party at hand.

Hour after hour, people were taken out, only to be replaced by three more. In Kyoya's mind, he was glad he wasn't one of the ones being taken out. Then... The worst went unnoticed. Zeke had been seperated from the raven. Neither really noticed it. They were disillusioned by the lights, by the music, by the drinks.

The drinks...

There was the straw that broke the camel's back. When Kyoya's drink left his hand for a split second, the fun ended. From that moment, Kyoya really couldn't recall anything. In his mind everything was a mixture of color and sound. He could still hear the music, but it slowly faded.

He could feel hands... Four of them running along his figure. When did he get his shirt off? He could hear voices, but the words ran together like runny paint on a piece of paper. Everything sounded like he was under water. From there... Thing went dark... And he was subjected to a heavy sleep, thrown into unconsciousness...

**-oOoOoOoO-OoOoOo-**

"-a... -oya... Kyoya! Wake up!"

A pained groan escaped Kyoya's lips. He gripped whatever he was laying on tightly, as he felt pain shoot through him in every place possible. Slowly he rolled to his, feeling like the world was turning faster.

"Dude, are you okay...?" came Kairi's concerned voice.

"God, of course he's not, Kairi!" Zeke's voice shouted, "Oh man... Kyoya, say something!"

With much effort, Kyoya managed to speak, "Stop shouting... My head hurts..."

"I don't think that's the only thing that hurts..." Kairi said softly, almost sadly.

Kyoya looked at both of them, "My entire body hurts... Where am I?" he shifted a bit and lifted the covers on top of him, "And where the hell are my pants...?"

Zeke gave a quiet sob, "Kyo, I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have taken you there last night." Now, Kyoya was worried. He tried thinking about what could have happened. _'What-'_He quickly managed to remeber.

Hot, burning kisses being pressed against his skin, teeth sinking into different parts of his body, nails clawing at him. He could remember hearing wanton cries of pleasure, and recalled feeling pain in-

"Zeke..." Zeke and Kairi looked up at Kyoya's pale face, "...I think I'm going to be sick..."

The memories made him feel ill... They made him feel... Filthy...

**-oOoOoOoO-OoOoOoOo-**

**I feel like I'm stepping into a bad territory. D: I myself haven't been to a rave. I've had friends attend them, I've heard stories from the raves that are unsafe (I'm not saying all raves are unsafe. I know not all of them are.) and so, I'm stepping into hazardous grounds with this fic.**

**And what happened to Kyoya is another red zone for me. Please remember, I am not trying to be offensive, or rude, or insulting. I'd rather not have flames but if they are given, depending what they say, I will properly either leave them or delete them... Or use them to light my fireplace to keep me warm. :3**

**Reviews? And should this be continued? :/**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, the two reviews were good enough to get me to keep going, so, I'ma going to keep moving. :D Now, with the two reviews, there's a light nudge to a pairing idea so I thank those two reviewers. _*sends lovable hugs*_ Yay! :3**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT, ZEKE, AND RIN AND AKIR'S NAMES AND PERSONA'S. THANK YOU.**

**-oOoOoOoO-OoOoOoOo-**

_**CHAPTER 3**_

Kyoya carefully unpacked his things from his bag, placing them back where they normally were. He took off his clothes and rubbed his red, tear filled eyes, giving a slight uncharacteristic sniffle as he thought of the accident and his departure from America and Zeke's company.

_"I'm really sorry... About everything..." Zeke said. Kyoya looked down at his new friend, looking over the interesting things about him before giving a faint smile. It was more for Zeke's comfort than for his own. "It's okay..." he said to the blonde halfa, "We were both out of it..."_

_They stood together for a moment, Zeke looking up at Kyoya in shame and Kyoya looking down at Zeke in guilt. As they heard Kyoya's plane being boarded, Zeke fidgeted and gave a crooked smile, lifting his hand in a quick wave, "Well... It's been nice hanging with you, Kyo... Bye." he started backing away. Kyoya smiled, "Is that really how you're going to leave me? What happened to the huggable Xephyr Baxter?" Zeke could only smile and walk back, hugging the much taller boy by the waist._

_"If you ever need someone to talk to, Kyo, you know how to contact me." Zeke said as he stepped away. The Ootori nodded, feeling an urge to cry as the blonde turned and walked away._

Kyoya sighed as he put away a pair of jeans in his drawer. He stopped and smiled, laughing a bit as he pulled out a familiar red shirt, "I told Zeke to make sure none of his clothes were in my stuff..." he mumbled, folding the shirt and storing it, "I'll tell him later..." He continued unpacking, letting his mind wander. That was his mistake...

Immediatly the reminder of that night came back and Kyoya could do nothing to stop the urge to whimper at the thought of the things the strangers had done to him. With a shakey breath, Kyoya stopped his unpacking and merely sat there on the floor with his arms crossed as he tried to calm himself.

Mere minutes after this, the door opened and was followed by the cheerful voice of Rin, "Welcome back, little brother!" he sang, "How did it go?"

Immediatly Kyoya wiped his eyes and put his glasses on, "Fine." he said quickly, tyring to compose himself, "It went good." He hoped to avoid Rin's curiosity but the brunette caught the cover.

"Hey..." Rin said softly as he sat by Kyoya, "You okay, Kyo?" he looked at his little brother's face to find the tears gathered in Kyoya's onyx eyes. Kyoya quickly moved away, "I'm fine, Rin. Just tired..." A hand placed itself on Kyoya's shoulder and Rin softly said, "Kyoya. I'm your older brother. I know when something is wrong with you, and something is wrong right now. Whatever it is, it's okay." That's when Kyoya broke.

With a few shakey gasps, Kyoya was soon, hugging Rin tightly and was burying his face into the dark fabric of Rin's shirt. He was crying things into Rin's chest, all were muffled by the shirt. Rin had to pry Kyoya off of him to get a word in, "Kyoya! I can't understand a thing you're saying!" he said.

"I went to a rave and somebody fucking drugged me!" Kyoya shouted through his emotions but quickly covered his mouth when he realized how loud he had said it, "Oh my God..." he said behind his hand. Rin stared at Kyoya in shock before saying, "K-Kyo-kun..." the words sank, "Oh my God... R-Really?" Kyoya hesitantly nodded. Rin didn't know what to do except pull Kyoya into a tight hold, "I'm so sorry little brother..." he said sympathetically then thought, "Oh God, did you see a doctor or anything?" he asked.

"No..." was Kyoya's soft answer, "I was scared of everyone finding out."

"Kyoya! You have to see someone! Who knows what kind of disgusting things those people had!" Rin angrily said, "Don't be afraid of the media!" he quickly stood up, "Come on." Kyoya shook his head, which only upset Rin further, "Kyoya Ootori, I will be damned if I let a parasite flutter through your body like RuPaul at a gay pride parade!"

"Rin, shut up!" Kyoya shouted, "Just... Shut. Up." he then sighed shakily and ran a hand through his hair, "I'll go... Just not now... Please?" he stood up and dropped himself on his couch, hiding in his arms.

As he lay there, Kyoya felt the seat shift. _'Just go away...' _he thought. He felt a hand run itself through his hair, giving some form of comfort. "As long as you promise to go... I'll stop bugging you." Rin said softly, "But you have to promsie to see someone and you have to take me with you. Okay?" Kyoya nodded and turned to look at his brother. It was funny, Rin was the furthest thing you'd expect an Ootori to act like. Sweet, concerned for his younger siblings, and loud... Very loud.

Rin smiled and ruffled Kyoya's hair like he used to when the Shadow King was younger, "So, how was the Baxter family? Were they nice?" he asked, wanting to do anything to get the pain out of Kyoya.

The thought of the Baxter's made Kyoya smile more and he sat up, sitting in an Indian style, "They were. I met Kurt Baxter and his son Xephyr Baxter." he said and proceeded to tell Rin about everything he had done with Xephyr.

"Awww, looks like my little brother has an admirer!" Rin cooed when he heard of how Xephyr hugged Kyoya before he left, "And he's gay! Which makes everything so much better for me!" he added. Kyoya laughed softly, "You are just a little to flamboyant for me, Rin. Just a little." The brunette could only chuckle in reponse. Kyoya lied down on his side, looking at the television which Rin had turned on. The couch shifted again and he felt Rin rest his head in the curve of his side.

"Do you remember?" Rin asked softly after a while, "What they did, I mean." Reluctantly Kyoya shook his head, "No... Just a few things..." his voice was so quiet, something even he was surprised by.

"Like what...?"

Kyoya's eyes stayed in the screen but they weren't looking at what was happening, "I remember laying on something, and I remember them kissing me... I don't remember when they took off my clothes... But I remember feeling a lot of pain through the whole thing..." he held back his tears again, his lips shaking as he kept from sobbing. He felt Rin softly nuzzle his cheek into his side and he gave a slight smile at that. "Rin...? You're not going to tell anyone, right?"

Rin stayed silent but answered, "...No. That's not my job, after all..." He then rolled ontop of Kyoya, earning a strangled laugh from the younger. "Rin, get off." The brunette only put more weight on the boy, making him laugh more. As he forced Kyoya to laugh and smile, Rin continued his pained thoughts of what Kyoya told him, _'Why couldn't I have been there to help him...? Why did it happen when he was alone...? Why then, and why him...?'_ Rin could only keep thinking as he watched his sibling lie on the floor where he had been pushed to and make an attempt to catch his breath. For the first time in his life, all Rin saw was Kyoya, a seventeen year old teenager with nothing to worry about... _'How long will it stay like that?'_ he asked himself.

**-oOoOoOoO-OoOoOoOo-**

Akira looked up from the book he was buried in when he heard footsteps. The way they dragged on the carpet told him how the walker was feeling, "Something wrong, Rin?" he asked, his eyes going back to the printed words in his book.

"Kyo-kun's hurt, Akira... Real bad."

The topic of his brother being hurt quickly caught the eldest's interest, "How so?" he questioned. The book was now closed and placed gently on the coffee table.

Rin shifted a bit and looked behind him where the stairs were before quietly hurrying to Akira, sitting close to him, "While in America... He had an accident." Akira gently pushed the glasses wearing brunette away a few inches before asking, "Did someone hurt him?" Rin only shook his head. "Rin, tell me." Akira demanded.

Again Rin leaned close, speaking in a whisper, "He met someone and they went to a rave. Someone drugged him and..." the way he trailed off was enough for Akira. The raven sat still, "Kyoya told you this?" Now his voice was just as quiet as his brother's. Rin nodded silently. "You're taking him to the doctor, right?" Rin nodded again, speaking this time, "I'm taking him when dad's not around. Kyoya's scared to let him of all people know."

Akira only sighed, leaning back in his seat, "Okay... Just make sure he's okay, and I don't just mean physically... You know how he is in his head." he said. Rin nodded, "Yeah... Since mom left, we have to watch him..."

The two didn't know that at the top of the stairs, a certain Shadow King was listening, his head rested on the banister of the stairs. Kyoya looked down at the entrance of the family room before quietly crawling back into his own room. "Thanks a lot, Rin..." he mumbled as he sat beside his door, "Really appreciate your loyalty." with that said, he drew his knees up to his chest and rested his head on them, falling asleep in that very spot.

**-oOoOoOoO-OoOoOoOo-**

**Oh dear. D: Kyoya's depressed, Rin broke a promise, and Akira's concerned for his little brother. What else can occur in this moment? And will Kyoya tell anyone else? Or will Rin spread the news like the chatterbox he is?**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I MERELY OWN THIS PLOT, ZEKE AND HIS PALS, RIN AND AKIRA'S NAMES AND PERSONALITIES AND A REALLY DISTURBED DIGESTIVE TRACK AT THE MOMENT. THANK YOU. AND SEND ME SOME STOMACH SOOTHERS. T-T**

**_-oOoOoOoOoO-OoOoOoOoOo-_**

**CHAPTER 4**

Kyoya groggily woke up, realizing that he was still curled up by the door, and he was freezing. His eyes slowly scanned the room for the clock.

_6:00 A.M_

Groaning inwardly, Kyoya slowly uncurled himself, loosing the little warmth he had and crawled to his dresser, sliding it open. He dug for his uniform that he accidentally shoved in there. Slowly, he extracted Zeke's red shirt, the simple shirt bringing a smile from the raven, "You always find a way to make me smile." he said softly and put the shirt beside him, "Maybe you'll keep me happy for the rest of the day."

After locating his uniform, Kyoya grabbed his phone and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower. As the water warmed, he checked for any messages. He had one message that he received at 4:50 that morning. It was from an unknown number, but Kyoya opened it regardless.

_l0l l0ng distanz messagez! j/k dont u just luff meh?_

_ZEKE-TIMEZ_

Kyoya laughed softly, seeing the familiar way of texting, "Thanks Zeke." he said softly, responding to the message.

_Ahaha your funny Zeke Oh so very funny And yes I do "luff you"_

He didn't have a signature like the fluttering blonde, and he sent the message before taking off his shirt. Not a minute after, his phone vibrated on the smooth counter. "Wow... Fast thumbs." he said, opening the message.

_Yayz! Whatcha doin Kyo? AND GET URSELF A SIG!_

_ZEKE-TIMEZ_

Kyoya laughed and decided to change his shower to a bath, filling the tub with the warm water as he replied again.

_I'm going to take a bath Why aren't you sleeping And no I will not get a "sig"_

Kyoya leaned against the counter, at this point not caring about time for school anymore. _'I'd rather just stay home, get a hot bath, lay in my bed for warmth and talk to Zeke.'_ he thought, grabbing his phone to read his latest message.

_Oooo, yummeh! Send me a delish pic of ur hot bod l0l j/k unless u wanna?_

_ZEKE-TIMEZ_

Kyoya couldn't help but chuckle at the message, "Just like you." he closed the message and lifted his phone to the mirror with the camera on, using the mirror to show his shirtless figure. He smiled and took off his glasses, setting them down before sticking the thumb of his free hand into the waist of his pants, giving a bit of a pout in his picture before pressing the button. He smiled and sent the picture with a message.

_Like what you see Hahaha You bring out my other side_

He quickly remembered the water and rushed to shut it off, "Close one..." He removed the rest of his clothing and stepped into the hot water of the tub, letting out a relaxed sigh as he let the warmth soothe his muscles. He immedietly flinched, remembering the pain he felt in certain areas in America, _'Don't remember...'_ He thought, grabbing a dry cloth and picking up his phone, holding it securely in his hand.

_Hellz yah! l0l u look sexeh... l0l anywayz... how r u doin?_

Kyoya sighed, not really in the mood to talk about the incident.

_I'm don't want to talk about it But if you must know I'm not doing so good_

He set the phone down on the floor beside the tub and slipped under the water, laying on the bottom. He held his breath and slipped his eyes open, staring up into the surface of the bath. His bangs flowed up enough for him to see the tips of them around his face. He thought for a moment and slipped his eyes closed, letting out a sigh. The sigh was regretted when he was quickly reminded of the water around him. In a quick panic he clasped his hand over his nose and sat up quick, giving multiple coughs and chokes from water slipping into his lungs. Managing to catch his breath Kyoya looked down, hearing the buzzing of his phone. He grabbed the dry washcloth and picked up the phone, holding it over the floor instead so to not drip all over it.

_I'm sowwy... Wish I wuz thar 2 make u feelz bettah :(_

_ZEKE-TIMEZ_

Kyoya replied, resting his chin on the edge of the tub.

_Me too Haha I almost drowned in my bathtub I'm such a dork_

He laughed at himself and began to wash his hair, running the sweet scented shampoo through his hair. The smell relaxed him even more and he soon ducked under water and rinsed his hair under the water, running his hands in it. Slowly, Kyoya slipped his head out of the water, but stayed low enough so that the water reached just above his top lip. He scanned the surface of the water, seeing his pale knees peeking out from the surface. There were islands of bubbles floating on the surface from his hair. He expected a yellow rubber duck to float by next, or a toy boat, or another small bath toy that any child would play with. He smiled a bit, the thoughts making him feel a little more secure. His imagination was cut off by the vibration of his phone again.

_R u blonde? Just becuz Kairi says therz a scratch n sniff at the bottom dusnt meen u shood do it! j/k luff u_

_ZEKE-TIMEZ_

Again for the hundreth time this morning Kyoya laughed.

_I'M SORRY Kairi can be so believeable Hahaha_

Kyoya quickly grabbed the conditioner and made a quick work of getting it through his hair before rinsing it off in the same way as the soap. This time when he surfaced, Kyoya sat up fully, his eyes stinging from the soap. He gave a bit of a sniffle from the water and stood to his feet, climbing out of the tub and wrapping his towel around his waist. He dried his hands off and picked up his phone, but saw no reply, "He must have fallen asleep." he said to himself and set about to getting ready for school.

The air was cold around him, feeling even colder because of the loss of the warm water. The drain was pulled and the water quietly swirled down the hole. Kyoya dried his body and pulled his boxers on, followed by his school pants. He draped the towel over his head on his wet hair, putting on his glasses before looking into his mirror.

In the mirror, Kyoya didn't see the cool and collected Shadow King named Kyoya Ootori, son of the most powerful families in Japan. In fact, since that night... All Kyoya saw anymore was a pale, sickly looking seventeen year old that was-

Kyoya violently shook his head, "Don't remember. Don't remember." he whispered quietly, scolding himself. He shivered a bit, suddenly feeling colder than before as the memories forced their way into his head. The cool and collected Shadow King crumbled to the floor, leaning against the wall as his hands covered his face. Quiet, helpless sobs racked his body as he cried into his palms.

"Kyoya, you're going to be-" Rin's voice was cut off once he saw the small ball huddled into the wall. Immediatly Rin was sitting beside Kyoya, his arm wrapped around the younger's shoulders, "Oh Kyo..." he said sympatheticly, pulling the raven against his chest, letting the cries be muffled by his shirt as shaking hands clutched his sides, "I'm not letting you go to school, ichiban. You can't go to school like this..." he said softly once the cries quieted. It was hard to see his usually calm brother so broken and helpless.

The two sat together on the floor. Rin kept his arm around Kyoya, and Kyoya kept himself against Rin's chest. He felt so pathetic and weak. He wasn't supposed to be sitting here, crying like a girl. He was Kyoya, dammit! He had to be stronger than that!

"I already know what you're thinking, Kyoya. You're a teenager... Don't act like you're some adult... Anyone would be this way if they had the same thing happen to them..." Rin said with a tone Kyoya rarely heard him use.

"But I-"

"I don't care what you're going to say. Don't ever think that you're weak or pathetic... Please." The brunette gave a soft hug to his brother before standing, picking him up. Kyoya let himself be carried, somewhat amused by Rin's brotherly actions. "You need to eat more, Kyoya. I can carry you without a sweat." Rin said jokingly as he carried Kyoya to the couch. He set him down and handed Kyoya the red shirt Kyoya had planned on wearing beneath his uniform, "Here. I have to go do some work, but I'll be back soon. I'll let the maids know you'll be staying home." he said, smiling softly before leaving.

Kyoya smiled and pulled Zeke's shirt over his head, "Thanks Rin..." he said softly and lied down on the couch. He shut his eyes, "Maybe I can sleep now..." he mumbled softly and curled up, letting sleep take him.

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**REVIEWS!**


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I ONLY OWN THIS PLOT, ZEKE AND HIS FRIENDS, AND RIN AND AKIRA'S NAMES AND PERSONALITIES. THANK YOU. ALSO, REMEMBER, DO NOT BE OFFENDED AS THIS STORY PROGRESSES. PLEASE?**

**-oOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOO-**

**CHAPTER 5**

Kyoya woke up slowly, one eye cracking open and looking around through sleepy blurry vision. He gave a soft hum and shut his eyes again, snuggling his face deeper into the pillow under his head. Those eyes opened again and he slowly sat up, his blankets from his bed slipping off his chest, "I thought I fell asleep on my couch..." he mumbled, rubbing an eye with his fingertips.

"You did, but I thought maybe your bed would be more comfortable."

Kyoya looked beside his bed and smiled a bit at his almost twin-like older brother, "You're right. Thanks Akira..." he said and lied back down, his back facing his sibling, "What time is it?" he asked.

There was a moment of silence in which Kyoya guessed Akira was checking his watch before there was an answer, "12:46 in the afternoon." Immediately Kyoya was back up.

"Say what?"

Akira laughed, amused at the look of shock on Kyoya's face, "You're such a spazz sometimes..." he teased, using a rare word like "spazz", "Rin didn't think you should go to school today, since he found you bawling in the bathroom." a look of concern washed over his face, "You okay?"

With a soft sigh, Kyoya reluctantly shook his head, "No... I guess the memories are still fresh..." he said softly, gently running his hand through his hair. He looked around, "Where's my glasses and phone?" The two objects were handed to him, and he took them, "Thank you." Putting the glasses on, Kyoya checked his phone. He had multiple messages._ 'I think I can guess from who.'_

There was one from Zeke, five from Tamaki, two from the twins, one from Haruhi, and two from Honey and Mori. It took some self-persuasion to get Kyoya to read them all.

Zeke: _"Sowwy! Fell asleep! D: "_

Tamaki:_ "Mother, are you okay?" "Where are you?" "Kyoya your scaring me! Answer!" "Mother! Where are you?" "Answer! Please!"_

Twins: _"Hey senpai, its Kaoru. Where u at?" "Hey V.P, Tono's freaking out. Let him know ur ok. - Hikaru"_

Haruhi: _"Kyoya-senpai, are you sick? And Tamaki's freaking out..."_

Honey and Mori:_ "Kyo-chan! Are u not feelin good?" "You have to be sick if you're missing school. Tamaki is worried for you."_

Kyoya shook his head. "Friends worried?" Akira asked. Nodding, Kyoya replied to Zeke.

_It's ok I figured you fell asleep on me Haha_

Then he thought of who to respond to for the Host Club. After thinking, Kyoya found it to be best to reply to Haruhi, seeing as she was one of the level headed ones.

_Tell Tamaki I'm ok Wasn't feeling good today so I stayed home And don't let him hurt himself at the Club_

"Now that's just mean."

Kyoya glared at the raven leaning over his shoulder, "Do you mind?" he scolded irritably. Akira sat back down, smirking. "You know, for the eldest of the Ootori's you're one of the most annoying." Kyoya muttered, throwing the blankets off his legs.

"Well pardon me." was the mocking reply, "Anyway, Rin said that once he gets home, he wants to start talking to you about the doctor. A doctor that'll keep his mouth shut even to our father." the last sentence was added quickly when Akira saw Kyoya start to open his mouth to speak, "Also, I'll see about finding a counselor for your... Memories." The comment made a frown come to Kyoya's face. "Hey, I'm worried, too, Kyoya. You can't just bottle it all up." Akira said, "You always hide your emotions just so you can seem like you can handle anything... Don't do that now..."

Kyoya remained silent, his way of admitting that Akira was right. He stepped down the stairs that led to his bed, heading to his school bag. He reached down and extracted his black note book. Settling himself down, Kyoya was about to open the book when a hand appeared infront of him as if asking for something.

"Notebook. Give it. Now." Akira said in a hard tone. Kyoya sighed, knowing that there was no arguing with the oldest of the three boys. He placed the book in Akira's open hand and pulled his legs onto the couch, sitting cross-legged. Akira tucked the book under his arm and looked at Kyoya, "Oh, I forgot to tell you, Kiyoshi's coming back. He'll be here for a few weeks."

The youngest of them all, Kiyoshi Ootori, was sent to a bording school in Germany. Though it was hard to send the young, naive boy away, Kyoya knew that it would be beneficial for Kiyoshi. As innocent and ignorant as Kiyoshi acted, his brains were certainly of Ootori origin, giving him an easy entry into the school.

"When is he expected to arrive?" Kyoya asked, looking up at Akira. He wondered how Akira was allowed to have hair longer than any of them, yet Kyoya was forced to keep his hair shorter.

"Tonight. Fuyumi's going to go and get him." Akira pushed aside his bangs, "Come downstairs. You're like a damn vampire up here." he said with a smile and headed to the door. Kyoya smiled slightly and made a vampire-like hiss, baring his teeth like a canine. Akira chuckled, "Just don't sparkle in the light."

"Bullshit!" Kyoya scoffed, following him, "REAL vampires burn, not sparkle like an evening party dress."**  
**

**-oOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOo-**

At the Host Club, Tamaki was making a scene before the guests arrived. "Where is he? He must be hurt! Or worse! He-"

"Tamaki! Shut. UP!" Hikaru shouted, his focus on a chess board between him and his twin, "I am one move away from beating Kaoru and you're not letting me-"

"Check mate." Kaoru smiled with victory as Hikaru sent icy glares to the blonde. The younger twin turned to Tamaki, "Tono, I'm sure Kyoya-senpai is fine. Remember, he's an Ootori. An Ootori can't really disappear without the world knowing." he explained, ignoring Hikaru's fit as he flipped the board in anger.

"So true." Hikaru added after calming down.

Honey stuffed a forkful of cake into his mouth, speaking with a full mouth, just barely understandable, "Kao-chan's right. He is Kyo-chan after all."

The door opened and Haruhi walked over with her phone, "Senpai, here." she shoved her phone into the hands of their king, "Now shut up and stop being a pain." she walked away to put her bag away.

Tamaki read the message Kyoya had sent her. He let out a relieved sigh, then thought. "HEY! HOW COME HE DIDN'T ANSWER TO ME?"

The twins snickered as Tamaki fell into the corner, mushrooms already sprouting. "Wow, poor Tono." Kaoru said. "I wonder how Kyoya stands him." Hikaru added.

"I'm sure Kyoya-senpai has his reasons." Haruhi said, "He may not show it, but I'm sure he sometimes enjoys Tamaki's worry." she sighed as Tamaki began to text, "Greeaat. He's gonna blow up my phone..." she muttered oh so joyfully.

_Motherrr! Why didn't you tell me you were ok?_

The phone was snatched from Tamaki's pianist fingers, "Give me my phone back, senpai." Haruhi mumbled before walking away. She stopped when the phone vibrated in her hands. She looked behind her and opened the message.

_I know how you are Didn't feel like having a drama queen in my ear_

She held a quiet laugh and put her phone away, _'At least he's okay. But still... It's really out of character for him to not come to school... His education always comes first. Something must have happened.'_ she thought in concern, _'I'll call him later today.'_ she made the a note in her head as she went to her spot, ready to greet the clients, _'Sure will be different today...'_

**-oOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOO-**

Kyoya leaned his head against the glass of the window. He stared outside into the scenery. The trees were a lush green and the flowers were blooming, showing new life for the year. He smiled a bit and stepped away, walking to an easel sitting near the window. This was his sanctuary... His studio. It was a separate room, away from any noise of the household. The entire wall across from the door was window, giving Kyoya a view of the scenery outside.

Around the easel in a half circle were cans of paints in various colors. He had every top off and he walked over and stuck his brush into one of them. The paint dripped as he went to the easel, some getting on the grey sweatpants he had on.

This room had a way of soothing Kyoya in a way that nothing else could. He felt at peace, and as if the world and all its troubles had disappeared. In here, he felt like himself... Like an innocent teenager. The walls were covered by paintings and even the walls themselves were painted on or had unfinished drawings on them. Everything was or could be a potential victim of Kyoya's talent. At this moment, Kyoya's focus was centered on the easel in front of him.

Nobody was allowed in this room. It was closed to everyone, even to the family. Rin, Akira, Fuyumi, Kiyoshi, even his own father was banned from entering the studio. The windows were made of a special glass that was blacked outside, and cleared inside. Kyoya could look out, but no one could look in. That's how he liked it...

The raven was vigorously painting, his attention completely on the artwork. His brush was swept swiftly across the canvas, being flung from the canvas to a paint can and back again. Drops fell on the hard wood floor, adding more to the old specks already there. He had to work fast or else his plan would disappear.

_Bzzzzttt! ...Bzzztttt!_

The focus was broken as the infamous vibration from Kyoya's phone made itself known through the wood of the floor. The brush was put on the floor beside a can of canary yellow paint. His footsteps were silent as he walked over and picked up the still vibrating phone. Clearly it was a call.

_'Haruhi.'_ Kyoya read the name on his screen and willfully answered, "Yes, Haruhi?"

"Geeze senpai. Don't do that, it creeps me out. Makes me feel like your watching me." the female said on the other line. The words summoned a laugh from the Shadow King.

"My apologies. Is there something I can help you with?" He sat down on one of the few pieces of furniture in the room, a dark blue couch. _'I really should bring in more things...'_ he thought to himself as he spoke.

"Well, I was just wondering if you were okay... You know, everyone was worried for you." Kyoya could already imagine...

"Yes. I just woke up this morning and didn't feel so well. Remember, I just came back from America. God knows what kind of bugs I may have caught." He said, keeping his cool composer for the commoner girl.

"Yeah. How was your trip, by the way?" Oh, how he dreaded the question...

"It was... Interesting. I think my father will be happy to hear that we have a new connection now." He tried to make it seem like everything was okay. And thankfully, Haruhi bought it.

"Oh, well, that's good. Maybe now he won't be so hard on you." Haruhi's voice said, "Anyway, I just wanted to check on you and let you know that the others are worried. I hope we see you tomorrow."

Nodding to himself, Kyoya answered, "Of course. Thank you for your concern."

"Alright, well, I'll see you tomorrow, senpai. Take care of yourself. Bye."

"Bye." He shut the phone and lied down on the couch and stared up to the ceiling. Even that was painted. Why on Earth he did it, even he didn't know... A knock came at the door.

"Kyo-kun. I'm going to the airport to get Kiyo. Do you want to come along?" Fuyumi's voice called. Immediately Kyoya looked at the now black window. He sighed, _'There went my painting...'_ he thought, "Sure. Just let me get dressed." he answered, standing up. He walked over to the canvas and the half done painting, "I'm sorry, but not every scenery is the same everyday." he told it, picking it up and moving it to the corner of the room, "I'll figure out something for you." he said, pulling off his white, paint sprinkled tank top, tossing it onto the couch.

After dressing, Kyoya headed out, ensuring to lock the studio so to protect his sanctuary, before going down stairs. Fuyumi was waiting for him at the door. "Really Kyoya, can you be any more slow? You're like Greece in the German Simulation in Hetalia." she scolded as they walked outside.

"Fuyumi, you really need to lay off the anime. It's starting to get a little creepy." Kyoya said, heading to the waiting limo out front.

**-oOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOo-**

"Kiyoshi!" The Ootori daughter ran and enveloped her little brother in a tight hug outside of the airport, "Oh goodness, I've missed you!" she exclaimed, holding him at arms length to look him over. Kiyoshi gave a smile from under his hat before he caught sight of Kyoya. That smile became a beam of joy.

"Big Brother Kyoya!" In an instant, Kyoya was hugged tightly around his waist, a hug which he more than willingly returned. The eleven year old was lifted into his older look-a-like's arms and he immediately wrapped his arms around Kyoya's neck, rubbing his face into the dark sweater he was wearing.

"Nice to see you, Kiyo. It's been quiet around here without you." The trio went to the limo, basking in it's warmth of the vehicle as they returned to the estate. Kiyoshi immediately started a conversation, "How's everyone been since Kiyoshi left?" he asked in his usual third person tone.

"It's been quiet." Fuyumi answered, "Kyoya just got back yesterday from a trip to America." she smiled. She acted as though nothing happened, having been told by the oldest of her brothers about the accident. She hadn't told Kyoya she knew, and she certainly didn't want the innocent boy in front of her to know.

"Really? Kiyoshi met a boy from America in school. He was sent there too, like me. His name was... Uhm..." the cat loving boy thought hard for the name, amusing both his older siblings, "Hm... Kiyoshi can't- Oh! Terra! His name was Terra! And he was really nice! He was older than Kiyoshi, though. He was about... Sixteen? I think? He was in another building but I saw him outside of school."

Kyoya smiled, listening to his little brother chatter happily about his time in Germany. He looked out into the passing dark scenery. His mind was scattered and he liked it that way. _'It keeps me from losing it like this morning...'_ he thought to himself. Yet he had to wonder... How long would it be untill everyone found out...

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

**Me: Yay! :D Moar chapters. And Kiyo is here! :'D This fic may confuse some of my "Mini-Me" readers, so let me explain. It's not really connected much to "Mini-Me". Just Kiyo coming into the family like he did is the only thing still true... Uh, i don't know. _*nervously laughs*_ I'm sorry. Anyway, REVIEW, REVIEW! :D And please vote on the poll! D: I'd really appreciate it!**


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: I MERELY OWN THE PLOT, ZEKE AND HIS FRIENDS, KIYOSHI, RIN AND AKIRA'S NAMES AND PERSONALITIES, AND A LIGHT HEADACHE. THANK YOU.**

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

**CHAPTER 6**

Kyoya slipped into his bed later that night, ready to go to sleep and wait to wake up and go to school. He shut his eyes and was about to sleep when he felt the foot of the bed shift to the side slightly. A light weight was pressed to his ankle and Kyoya lifted himself up with his elbows. He saw a small figure at the foot of the bed in the dark and, from past experiences like this, he only sighed and lied back down on his side, "Come on." he said.

Kiyoshi pulled the sheets back and climbed in beside his brother, "Thank you, Big Brother Kyoya." he whispered quietly, laying his head down on the pillow and pulling the blankets over his tiny figure. Kyoya smiled slightly and shut his eyes, falling asleep very quickly.

The sleep seemed to be short, and Kyoya immediately felt his body being shaken, "Big Brother Kyoya. Wake up. You're alarm is going off." Kiyoshi's voice broke through the cloud of grogginess. Certainly enough, the alarm was beeping alongside his voice. Kyoya groaned irritably and shut it off, immediately pulling his blankets over his head, "Five more minutes..." he mumbled.

"Big Brother Kyoya, that was the third time it went off..."

The blankets were thrown onto Kiyoshi as Kyoya nearly killed himself hurrying down the stairs to the bottom part of his room. Kiyoshi stood on the bed, watching Kyoya run around the room, grabbing his clothing, "Don't kill yourself, Big Brother Kyoya." he mumbled tiredly, laying back down.

Kyoya rushed out of his room and down the stairs, "Why the hell did I over sleep?" he asked himself in irritation as he rushed to the awaiting limo.

It felt odd being at school after a week. Kyoya headed into his classroom, sitting down in time before the ball rang. It did feel odd being at school but the lessons were like before. The entire time Kyoya felt Tamaki watching him. The feeling of those violet eyes on him was like a fire, burning into the back of his head._ 'Stop staring, you idiot...'_ he thought angrily, the feeling not going away.

Gathering his stuff, Kyoya wasted no time in getting up and leaving the classroom.

"Kyoya! Kyoya, wait!"

He ignored the blonde's calling, continuing on his way. _'He'll tire himself out eventually.'_ he thought to himself. Oh, how his guess was shattered to pieces when he was pulled by his arm into the empty hallway he was passing by. Immediately he was staring face to face with the violet eyes of Tamaki.

"I called you, mother! How come you ignored me!" the questions came out fast, nothing abnormal for the princely host. The raven sighed irritably, pushing up his glasses, "Must you be a pain?" he asked sarcastically before stepping away and making a move to leave. Before he could get away, Tamaki moved quickly, grabbing the Shadow King by his waist and pulling him back. Kyoya immediately gasped, the action pulling a switch in his head. His mind made him think of another person's hand, and it wasn't close to where Tamaki was holding him. The images that passed in his sight made a panic form in his mind.

Tamaki was surprised at Kyoya's frightened flail. The raven rammed his elbow into the blonde's stomach, separating them roughly. It was silent for a while. Tamaki lay shocked, staring at the shaking teenager leaning against the wall. Kyoya trembled, his own breath shaking as he gripped the corner of the wall tightly in his hand.

"Kyo-"

"I have to go."

The raven haired boy quickly left, running as far as possible from the shouting person he left behind. As he ran, he tried hard to forget what just happened. He tried to keep the memories at bay. He just kept running, not really caring where he was going. Eventually he stopped. With a trembling hand, he touched the knob of the door he was standing in front of.

Looking inside, he wasn't at all surprised to see that it was the old art room. _'Art never ceases to find me...'_ he thought. The door was shut behind him and he went straight to the windows. The curtains were still there, blocking the sunlight from coming in. He grabbed the dusty curtain and slid it back. He sighed and sat by the window, pulling his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them.

_'Why am I so weak...? Why did I panic at just that one touch...? Why can't I forget everything...?'_

Shakes began to take over his body once again. Feeling a wave of tears wash over him, the Ootori curled into a tighter ball, letting his emotions take over freely. He sat like that, crying into the sleeves of his jacket as more and more tears fell from his eyes. He sobbed and tried to stop them from escaping.

"Senpai?"

Haruhi was standing with a very concerned look on her face beside Kyoya. It didn't seem like he even heard her. It was such a strange sight and sound, the Ootori crying like this. Never had she seen the boy so emotional. She was quick to slide an arm around him, surprising him, "It's okay." she quickly said, "It's just me." She watched Kyoya lift his head from the blue sleeves, fixing his glasses and rubbing his eyes quickly to rid himself of the tears. "Kyoya," she said, throwing away all formalities, "what's wrong? I've never seen you like this..."

"It's nothing... I'm fine."

The simple answer just angered the brunette, "It isn't nothing, Kyoya! Nothing ever gets you like this! Don't just shrug it off just because you want to keep up a facade!"

The words surprised Kyoya, and they even reminded him of what Akira had told him.

_'You can't just bottle it all up. You always hide your emotions just so you can seem like you can handle anything... Don't do that now...'_

With a shaking sigh, Kyoya turned his head away, looking out of the window,_ 'If I were to let anyone know... I'd rather it be Haruhi than anyone else...'_ he thought. He felt secure telling the tomboy of this. Haruhi gave him a security that he never felt with anyone, not even with people in his own family. "Do you really want to know...?" he said so quietly, that Haruhi had to ask herself if he even said anything at all. "Do you want to know what it is that made me so upset...?"

"Nothing ever upsets you, Kyoya... It has to be something really bad if it even made you breakdown..."

Breakdown. It was starting to become a word that Kyoya hated with a passion. His eyes slipped closed behind the lenses of his glasses. It was hard to start his story. The words were stuck, lodged tight in his throat as he tried to get them out.

"My trip in America..." he said quietly, "Wasn't exactly the best..." Eye contact was something he had to avoid. If he so much as looked at the worried girl across from him, he wouldn't be able to continue. He focused hard on the scene outside, "I met someone. The son of the family I was sent to meet... And he was a very nice person." Just the thought of the American blonde made Kyoya smile, if only just a little, "He took me with him everywhere, and for the first time... I felt like a real teenager... A normal guy who was having fun with his friend... And then, the day before I left... He took somewhere new. It's called a Rave..." Immediately, his smile disappeared, "He tried to warn me... But the entire thing just became too much... And we both lost track of what was happening." The images of the entire party came into mind as he recalled it, "I was separated from him and he told me earlier to watch where I left my drinks. Like an idiot, I forgot that warning. I don't... I don't remember hardly anything." his words and voice started to break, speaking starting to become a challenge as he tried to continue, "I remember two people were grabbing me... Grabbing me anywhere possible. They-" He completely gave up, the emotions becoming far too much for him. Immediately he tried to hide the tears that began their trip down his cheeks.

Two hands grabbed his tightly, and he looked in front of him to see Haruhi sitting in front of him, her own large brown eyes filled with tears. She held his hands, and he responded by returning the tight hold. Haruhi slide close and pulled the raven into a tight hug that was immediately returned. "I'm so sorry Kyoya..." she said quietly to him, hearing the cries of her senpai being muffled by her shoulder. There was no comfort that could soothe the broken boy in her arms, this she knew. She couldn't imagine how he must feel inside... The way he was completely shattered inside...

"Please... Don't tell anyone. Please Haruhi..." was the whispered plead, "I don't want them to know..." She knew what he meant by "them."

"I promise. I won't tell them. I promise..." But she thought if it was right to hide such a thing from their friends. Was it right to keep this secret from the few true friends Kyoya could trust? _'I can't betray him. He doesn't need betrayal... He needs comfort...'_ she thought, _'And if need be, I'll be the one to give it to him...'_

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

**R&R **


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING. I ONLY OWN THE PLOT, KIYOSHI, ZEKE, RIN AND AKIRA'S NAMES AND PERSONALITES AND A NUMB LEG. THANK YOU EVERYONE. AND STILL HAVE WRITER'S BLOCK...**

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

**CHAPTER 7**

The water ran slowly beneath his vision. Occasionally a small green leaf would float down and hit the clear surface, making small rings float out. A lilly pad floated past him, carried slowly by the small current of the pond.

"Mother nature talking to you?"

Kyoya looked up from the water of Ouran's fountain to see the brunette standing a few feet away. He looked back down to the water, "Hi Rin..." he said softly.

"How long have you been waiting?"

"Not too long..."

It was quiet as Rin waited for his brother to stand up and follow him. He wasn't at all surprised by Kyoya's stillness. He took a slow breath, "I ran into that Fujioka girl. She told me what happened..."

"And you're telling me this, why?" was the bitter reply.

"Kyoya, you really need some help. Stop being a brat and just let us help you."

"I'll be fine, Rin. I don't need help..."

The second oldest son of the Ootori's sighed. It was times like this that he really didn't enjoy his brother. _'He can be so hard headed...'_ he thought. Pushing up his glasses in a similar way to Kyoya, the brunette walked over with as much silence as he could. Once behind the raven haired teenager he turned away, his back toward the kneeling boy and sat down casually.

"Rin, you fat-ass! Get off!" Kyoya shouted irritably, struggling to keep his kneeling position as Rin put more weight on him, "Come on!"

"Cum on where?" Rin joked, sustaining a laugh as he looked over his shoulder at the struggling one under him.

"You're a sick man, now get your fat ass off me!" Finally, Rin stood and looked down at Kyoya with a satisfied smile. Kyoya only glared up at him. Rin grinned and held up two fingers in victory as he spoke, "Score one for Rin, the bad-ass fat-ass!"**  
**

"Well, fat-ass is one of the words for you..." was the mumbled reply as Kyoya dusted himself off and fixed his glasses, "What _did_ Haruhi tell you?"

"What do you think? She told me everything..." a concerned look washed over Rin's face, "I want to get you help, and no matter how much you argue, I'm going to get it for you." with that statement made, Rin turned and headed to the gates of the school, calling over his shoulder, "Hurry up! The driver's waiting!"

From the door, Haruhi watched in concern as Kyoya followed Rin to the waiting limo. "Kyoya... I really hope you'll be okay..." she said softly.

**-oOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOo-**

The paintbrush twirled in his hand as he stared out of the window again. His mind was filled with so much, he had to find some way of emptying it. He sighed in frustration, his finger tapping impatiently on the lid of the can of paint under his hand. His forehead was rested against the cold glass as he sat on the floor.

With a frustrated growl, Kyoya stood up with the brush and can and headed to the large unpainted canvas sitting alone at the center of the room. Taking a look at the brush in his hand, the raven shook his head and tossed it aside before prying the lid off the can in his grasp. A brush wouldn't do the job he wanted to do...

Black paint dripped everywhere, being flung in thin ribbons across the room and floor as the long black soaked fingers swung across the canvas. Another can was opened, and that color was flung around. Another was opened, the same action being repeated. Kyoya's movements were furious, angry, and his face held the burning look of anger and pain, confusion and sadness.

The time flew by as he worked. He forgot time, he forgot everything... That was the thing about his sanctuary. In here, nothing mattered but his feelings and his thoughts...

Outside, Rin stood silent, debating his next move. He stared at the door, the light of the moon shining in behind him from the window. He could hear the light sound of metal hitting wood inside the locked room. He could only imagine what was happening. It wasn't the first time the sound came. When Kyoya first took over the room when he was eight, Rin would sit outside the door, listening to the sounds his younger brother would make inside this room.

_'He started all this after mom left...'_ he remembered. He knew the importance of this room to Kyoya. Hell, the Shadow King has once beaten him for just trying to turn the _knob_ of the room. A laugh quietly formed as Rin remembered the attack.

Finally coming to a decision, Rin decided to make the safe move and knocked as loud as he could on the door. The clattering inside the room ceased immediately, replaced by shaky gasping that slowly grew more audible as Kyoya approached the door. His voice came through the wood.

"What?"

The sound of a few sniffles followed the words. _'More crying...'_ Rin thought to himself. "Kyoya, I want to talk to you. Can I-"

"No."

_'Not very surprising...'_ "Fine, then come meet me in my room. I really have to talk to you..." There was silence, and Rin heard Kyoya's footsteps fade away slight. He heard something hitting a wall before he sighed and stepped away from the door, going down the hall. As he passed someone's room, he was stopped by the firm yet reassuring grip on his arm. He couldn't resist but move to the person, being held tightly in a hold he always accepted. He sighed, "I'm scared for him... What if the worst happened...?" he asked, tears brimming his eyes.

In the studio, Kyoya lied flat on his back, staring up at his painted ceiling. His breath was still shaky as he tried to calm down from his episode. Paint was everywhere, multiple colors coating the room. Even his hands and arms were covered in the paint. Turning his head slightly, he looked through paint speckled lenses to the canvas. The white dove that flew through the blue sky was framed and partially attacked by a black sky, its bright white feathers being turned to those of a dirty black crow. In a way... He felt that was him... A once pure and free boy, now tainted and turned into a slave of fear and tortured memories.

Slowly moving his long legs, Kyoya pushed himself up, getting off the floor and to his feet. He stared at the painting for a moment more before looking away as he headed to the door. He locked the door once he was in the hall before going to Rin's room, _'What does he want...?'_ he thought.

The halls were empty and dark, the maids all having gone to bed for the night. As he walked, Kyoya couldn't help but slow as he passed a room, sounds catching his attention. Looking in, he recognized the darkened office-like chamber as Akira's bedroom, _'Is he really still awake?'_ he thought, pushing the door open slightly.

Akira's room was set up similar to Kyoya's, the only difference being the color scheme. Kyoya had the blue colors, whilst Akira had a desire to make everything of his red. The room seemed empty, yet the sounds continued. Kyoya's curiosity grew, and was mixed with a small hint of nervousness as he heard a small mew, like a cat. He climbed the stairs to the upper part of the room, being slow in his movements. A light was on beside the bed, giving Kyoya the view and source of the sounds. He stumbled down a few steps slightly as he saw who it was.

"R-Rin! Akira!"

The older siblings were frozen in shock and fear as their younger brother stared in equal shock at their position. Rin was lying on his back, his head at the foot of the bed as Akira loomed over him, and the brunette's neck was decorated by a few faint red marks. The older of the two was quick in getting off the brunette, immediately fixing his appearance as Rin did the same.

"W-What... What the hell were-"

Rin was the first to stop Kyoya's stuttering, "Please little brother! Please... Don't tell dad... I-...We know what your thinking... Being brothers, this shouldn't be happening... But..." he trailed off, finding it somewhat hard to continue his explanation to his younger sibling.

Kyoya silently looked at the two, his stumbling steps having left him leaning against the wall as he tried to make sense of what he just saw. Akira and Rin, the two people he expected to have the highest of principals and morals, were... In a relationship? A secretive one, at that. The look they were giving him was that of a begging to not tell. With a nervous rub of his arm, he quietly and uncertainly spoke, "I... I won't tell... I don't even care..." he said, not looking at them, "I'm not one to judge on preferences or choice. If you two can overlook the taboo, and have a relationship... Then who am I to shun you for it."

"So... You're okay with us...?" Rin's voice said. Kyoya gave a slight nod, his head still down so his dark hair could cover the look of confusion on his face. He then decided to add the other part of his thoughts.

"I'm not exactly comfortable with the thought of you two... Being together, but it's not exactly_ 'new'_ to me." he explained, referring to the Hitachiin's false brotherly-love act in the Host Club. He tensed as he was tightly hugged by the familiar asphyxiating grip of Rin.

"Thank you so much, Kyo-chan." came the grateful response. Pulling away, Kyoya looked up at his brother then thought.

"Wait a minute... Akira, I thought you were straight..."

The oldest of them cleared his throat uncomfortably, looking away with crossed arms and a streak of red across his face. Rin smiled and took the liberty of explaining, "Akira claimed to be a heterosexual for father. The family is hard enough knowing that one of us is an open homosexual, so Akira thought it best for him to stay in the closet, although sometimes I think he's so far in he's finding Christmas presents." It was amusing to see the red hue get even darker on the oldest's pale face.

Kyoya looked down before looking back to Rin, "What did you want...?" A paper was shoved into his face by Akira.

"Doctor's appointment tomorrow. I don't want any bitching, moaning, whining, or fighting. And if you so much as try to get away from us, I will personally get my gun and hunt your little ass down to the end's of the Earth." Kyoya's blood practically went cold from the threat. If there was anyone more intimidating than him, it was Akira. The man could freeze fire with the glares and threats he could make...

"So... This doctor... He won't tell anyone?" Kyoya questioned, taking the sheet of paper.

"His lips are completely sealed." Rin said happily, "You're secrets are safe with him and the counselor I found you." he smiled, "Well, it's late, and you have school tomorrow. So, get your butt to bed before I get it there for you."

Once the door shut, Rin's cheerful appearance fell and he slowly sat down on the foot of the bed. He stared at the door until a soft grip held him around his stomach, pulling him close to Akira. "Worried?" Akira asked softly against his hair.

"I'm scared... I don't want the worst to happen..." Rin replied, "He doesn't deserve to have his entire life be destroyed... Not him..." his head dropped and his teeth bit down on his bottom lip as his eyes shut, tears dripping off his lashes and into the floor.

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

** Reviews please**


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING. I MERELY OWN THE PLOT, KIYOSHI, ZEKE, RIN AND AKIRA'S NAMES AND PERSONALITIES, AND MULTIPLE BUG BITES AND A TERRIBLE CASE OF WRITER'S BLOCK. AND APPARENTLY I ALSO OWN TREES THAT BECAME SUDOWOODOS! D: THEY ATTACK...**

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**CHAPTER 8**

_'Two hundred twenty-two. Two hundred twenty-three. Two hundred twenty-four. Two hundred twenty-fi-'_

"How you doing, Slimmy?"

Kyoya broke his vision away from counting all of the small dots on the ceiling to look at the brunette at the door. Sitting up, Kyoya pointed quite bitterly to the piece of cotton taped down to the inside of his elbow, "I just got pierced by a four inch long needle and had about two little tubes of blood drawn from me... How the hell do you think I'm doing?"

The negative attitude didn't faze Rin. He smiled as though Kyoya had never said such angry things, "Well, now we play the waiting game." he said, "Come on. Let's go. I'm pretty sure you must be begging to get out of here." He offered his hand to Kyoya, an offer that was denied as the raven walked past him and into the hallway of the hospital.

The walk to the elevator was a silent one. Rin kept his attention in front of him, while Kyoya kept his attention below him on the floor. As the doors to the elevator shut, the silence ensued.

"Something on your mind, hermit?" Rin asked after a few seconds. He wasn't answered. Rin sighed a bit, looking at the numbers above the door, waiting for the elevator to stop and open.

Outside it was quite cold. The cold weather was barely starting to leave. Rin headed ahead of Kyoya to their waiting ride. He got in the back of the limo and waited for Kyoya to join him at his side. Once the door was shut and the car moved, Kyoya slid the window separating the driver and the back closed.

"What's the worst that can happen?"

The soft sound to Kyoya's voice sounded so strange. Rin didn't look away from the window at his side. Instead answering from his position, "What do you think?"

"I don't want to think..."

There was an opening for a joke there, but the negative feeling around them kept Rin from even trying. He only slid over and laid his head on Kyoya's shoulder, slipping his hand onto the younger's lap and grabbing his hand, their fingers slowly locking together. Rin felt Kyoya lay his head on top of his and they lied there like that for the rest of the drive. As the car pulled into the front of their estate, Rin tightened his grip on his little brother's hand, whispering softly, "No matter what happens from here on out, Little Brother... Remember I love you and you can trust me with anything." Kyoya returned the tight hold on their hands, an answer to Rin's statement.

The moment the front door opened, Kyoya was immediately hugged by his smaller duplicate. "Hi, Big Brother Kyoya! Kiyoshi missed you!" the little boy said happily. He looked up at Kyoya with a cheerful smile as he hugged his long legs. Kyoya smiled, running a hand through Kiyoshi's dark hair. "I have some work to do, so you have to let me go, okay Kiyoshi?" Slowly, Kiyoshi released Kyoya from his vice-like grip, allowing the Shadow King to go to the stairs. Rin watched Kyoya leave with a look of worry before he sighed and headed somewhere else also, leaving Kiyoshi to be confused at the two. The boy looked to where both men had walked off, _'Something doesn't seem right...'_ he thought to himself before going back to the living room to continue his own homework.

Upstairs, Kyoya was sitting at his desk, working on some of his homework. He hoped the work would keep him occupied, and for a while it was working. It was about an hour later that his phone vibrated, a sign of a message being recieved. Without looking away from the work, he dug in his pocket and extracted the phone, opening said message.

_I d0nt want 2 b the 0ne 2 tell u this but... G0 0n ur c0mputer & l00k up this site..._

_ZEKE TIMEZ_

Kyoya raised a curios eyebrow before moving to where his laptop was on the bed. After turning it on he immediately went to the mentioned website. Waiting for the page to load up, he wondered what it was that Zeke was telling him to look at. The page made his blood freeze, and he immediately let out a shaking breath as he look away from the page. He was glad his attention was moved to the new message being received.

_Im sorry Ky0ya... I really am... I d0nt kn0w h0w l0ng theyv been up 0r wh0 put them up..._

_ZEKE TIMEZ_

Kyoya had to slide the laptop away from him. There was a feeling of embarrassment, shame and fear in him as he did the only thing he felt he could do. He hid in his arms, trying hard to shut out the crude images of himself from his mind. What kind of person could be so cruel and heartless as to put up these images? To take advantage of him when he was intoxicated and drugged was already a low, but to go so far as to take pictures of the event and spread them along on the internet... It was an all new low for the person responsible...

"Hey, Kyoya. Fuyumi needs your help downstairs with something." Akira's voice seemed so far away to him, and instead of answering, he continued to lay in his pool of self-pity. "Kyoya? Are you even in here?" The voice sounded so far... When in reality, Akira was almost standing right beside him. There was a mumble of incoherent words from Akira that was followed by the soft click of the laptop being shut. Slowly Akira rubbed small circles across his back as he nearly screamed in frustration and shame into the sheets of his bed.

"I just want to wake up from his fucking nightmare already!" Kyoya shouted angrily into his arms, "I don't care how, I just want it all to stop!" He buried further into the bed.

"Kyoya..." No matter how hard he thought, Akira just couldn't think of a single thing to say in order to comfort his brother. What could be say? Kyoya was right. No matter what, it just got worse and worse... From the rape, to the emotional damage, and now the permanent pictures that everyone was bound to see... Was there ever to be an end to this nightmare? Was there anything to look forward to...?

"Everyone's going to see them..." whimpered the raven, "What kind of dignity can I hold onto now...?" slowly he pushed himself up onto his elbow, his glasses fogged from the hot breath of his sobs against his arms, his dark eyes filled with tears that were now streaking his face. He kept his head down, letting tears drip onto the bed, "I have nothing left to hang onto... Everyone's going to think the lowest of me... I won't be the respected Kyoya Ootori anymore. And worse, someone's going to leak this to the media and dad's finally going to know what the hell happened!" he looked back to Akira with a begging look of help. He whispered in a small and shaky voice, "What am I going to do...?" When Akira dropped his own gaze from his, Kyoya could only let out a chocked sob and fall back onto the bed, letting out another round of aggravated and hopeless cries. Seeing this episode, Akira thought of the only thing that could bring his little brother comfort and security.

"Kyoya... Let's go." Taking Kyoya by his arm, the oldest of the Ootori son's helped his brother up and started to take him into the hall. Akira held Kyoya's hand, and Kyoya held onto Akira's arm tightly, as though he could get lost in a crowd. It was as though he was still a child, only able to follow and be lead by his older sibling.

Akira lead Kyoya through the hallways of their home, following a route that was rarely taken. He stopped at a door that he hadn't stood in front of in many years. He sighed a bit and slowly opened the door. Walking inside, he took Kyoya to the large bed that lay against the wall, pushing the canopy away slightly and letting the younger slide onto the bed, sitting on the still fresh sheets. A slight smile appeared on Akira's face as he watched Kyoya take one of the pillows into his hands, staring at it for a moment before tightening his grip around it and hugging it tightly. The tears, although still visible on his cheeks, had stopped flowing the moment that Kyoya sat on the bed.

This room was one of the only two rooms in the entire house that allowed the secluded teen to feel warm and safe. Kyoya smiled faintly and lied back on the bed, staring up at the top of the elegant bed, his grip on the small pillow never loosening nor tightening. Beside him Akira lied down as well. "It's almost like she's still here..." Kyoya whispered softly, "I lay here... And I can just feel her comfort... The way she used to hold me whenever I was scared..." he let his eyes slip closed as he imagined himself in his mother's arms once again.

"She's still here... And she will always be here whenever you need her." Akira said softly. Together they lied there, Akira ensuring that Kyoya was okay, and Kyoya laying safely beside his brother and in his mother's invisible embrace. The fear of what happened before slowly vanished, if only for a while, as Kyoya lied there, and there he wished he could stay...

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

**I think it's kind of cute and a bit sad how Kyoya feels so safe in his mother's old bed. I know that if I ever lost my mother (God forbid that I ever do anytime soon... D: ) that's where I'd feel the safest, but at the same time, I'd feel kind of sad, not being able to physically feel her comfort... Aw man! I'm gonna make myself cry! D: Anyway, some reviews would be nice.**


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING. JUST THE PLOT, KIYOSHI, ZEKE AND HIS PALS, AND RIN AND AKIRA'S NAMES AND PERSONALITIES.**

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

**CHAPTER 9**

_'They're staring... They all know... They all saw them...'_ Kyoya resisted the urge to just drop his head on his desk and cry. Even if everyone was thinking bad things of him, he couldn't add to the pile by breaking down now. Even less in front of the already concerned Tamaki... Throughout class, he could feel the concern his blonde friend was feeling for him. It was so intense, Kyoya thought everyone else could feel it.

Just as the class was ending, Kyoya felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. He stayed sitting down, pulling out the little device to see what Zeke was saying now.

_Wish I c0uld b there wit u... Really miss u 2..._

_ZEKE TIMEZ_

Kyoya erased the message with a soft sigh. He was slightly upset at the American for the way he alerted him about the photos, _'He should've at least called, instead of messaging me...'_ he thought. It was a bit childish to be mad for such a reason, but it was how he felt. He was upset.

By the time Kyoya left the class, the hallways were empty, everyone having either gone home or gone to wait for the Host Club. He headed to the Third Music Room. _'Who knows if they saw them...'_ this anxious feeling of his had been plaguing him since he woke up that morning. It was hard to even get out of bed...

_"Kyoya, you can't hide from school just because of some dirty pictures."_

_Kyoya answered bitterly from under his cave of blankets, "Watch me!"_

_Rin sighed hopelessly, running a tired hand through his hair. It was hard to go to this level, but he had to get Kyoya untangled from those sheets no matter what. Climbing slowly onto the bed, Rin managed to slowly slide the hood of blue sheets that was over the Shadow King's raven hair and he placed himself on top of the raven. With Kyoya lying on his side, Rin's position left him straddling Kyoya's side. Beneath him Rin could feel Kyoya slowly start to tense._ _'I'm sorry Kyoya, but you won't listen.' he thought with guilt. Leaning down, he pressed his chest against Kyoya's shoulder, using his arms to keep his brother somewhat caged in, and he pressed a few light kisses and gentle nibbles against the smooth skin of Kyoya's neck._

_Under the sheets, Kyoya was fully tense, his eyes shut tight as he felt the actions being done. To him, it wasn't his brother. It was those same strangers that had taken advantage of him. He couldn't move under the tangled mess he had made of his blankets. With a small whimper, he managed to find his voice, "Please stop... Please stop..." he kept repeating the choked words._

_Releasing the younger, Rin sat up and looked at Kyoya, "Get up or I'm going to do it again." he said with a half-threat. His way of getting Kyoya out of bed wasn't the best of ways, he admitted, but how else would he get the boy out without having to deal with Kyoya's stubborn and childish tantrums?_

_"Why should I even bother...? It'll just be hell on Earth..." Kyoya mumbled to Rin as he walked past him. Going to the bathroom, he shut the door to change. Rin stood beside the door. He spoke through the door that separated them._

_"Because, Kyoya Ootori isn't one to just give up so easily. Kyoya isn't one to just lie back and let time crawl slowly by because of some accident... Kyoya's much better and stronger than that... And you know it."_

_There was a silence inside the bathroom, a silence that meant that Rin's words made a mark. The door slowly opened and Kyoya walked out, dressed in his uniform. With his head down he stood beside Rin silently before quickly leaning forward, gripping his older brother in a tight hug. "Do you really think I can still be strong after all this...?" he mumbled softly against Rin. His head was gently lifted by the brunette. A gentle kiss was placed on his forehead, a somewhat calming action. Rin's words were softly whispered against his head._

_"You're strong, Little Brother. You always have been and you always will be. I know it."_

_'Rin... How can you be so sure?'_ Kyoya thought, standing from his desk. He pulled his bag on before heading to the Host Club. Opening the door was an ordeal within itself. Slowly looking inside, he was surprised to see no one there. _'Where is everyone...?'_ He was even more curious when he heard laughter in the other room. He set his bag down on a table before heading to the door of the next room.

"You certainly are a strange character. I wonder why Mother never told us about you?" The voice was recognized as Tamaki's. _'Who is he talking to?'_ the Shadow King thought. He was quiet in opening the door. Tamaki was the first to see him, "Mother! You're finally here!" he greeted happily.

In a chair facing away from him, Kyoya was surprised to see shocking sapphire eyes look back at him. He was stunned at the person. The shock vanished as the person stood and finally he found his voice, "Zeke!"

The spikey haired blonde hugged the raven tightly, laughing uncontrollably as the two greeted each other, "Kyoya! I missed you so much!"

At the table the Hosts watched their Vice President with smiles. It was kind of nice seeing Kyoya so happy. For Haruhi, it was a great relief, _'Maybe he won't feel so alone anymore.'_ she thought. The amusement was broken when they heard the loud smack of a sudden slap.

Zeke looked at Kyoya, surprised and rubbing his face, "What the hell?" he asked sadly.

Kyoya glared and pointed at the American, "That's for texting me instead of calling me about last night!" he said.

"I'm sorry! I didn't think you'd be so mad about it..."

For a moment, Kyoya kept a slight glare at his friend before sighing a bit and turning to the others, "I see you've met the Host Club." he said. Zeke smiled, nodding. The Shadow King gestured to Zeke, "Everyone, this is Xephyr Baxter, Zeke for short. I met him while on a business trip to America. He is the son of Kurt Baxter, a potential connection to the Ootori family."

Zeke smiled more and gave a bow, "Hello. I know you know me and I know you, but just let me say this. I may be rich but I'm certainly no pampered brat." He laughed slightly, "And if you don't already know, I'm a homosexual cross-dresser. Don't like it, too bad."

"A cross-dresser? So you dress like a woman?" Honey asked innocently.

"Sort of. I just wear the clothing. I don't really do the full wigs and makeup stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love drag queens and trannies, but it's just not for me."

Tamaki smiled also, "Xephyr, would you like to stay for the Host Club? I'm sure we could use an extra man." he suggested, an idea that was surprisingly backed up by the others, even Haruhi. Zeke blinked curiously, "The Host Club?" he asked but then he grinned and clapped his hands together, "Certainly! Kyoya's told me all about it!"

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

"Wow, so you're from America?"

"Are you going to be staying here in Japan for long?"

"How do you get your hair to stay up like that?"

Zeke laughed at all the questions, "Slow down, ladies. I'll answer all your questions." Beside him Kyoya sat, quite amused at the amount of interest everyone had on him. "First, yes I am from America, but don't be so amazed. It's not very different from here. Second, my dad moved here after making connections with the Ootori family. Our company will be moved here as well, so I'll be making Japan my new home. Third, don't ask me. Even I don't know how it does that. I usually expect it to flatten out through the day but it doesn't, much to my disappointment."

"Xephyr, can you tell us about you and Kyoya-senpai? You two seem so close." a young blonde girl asked.

"Yeah. I've never seen him so social with someone. Not even Tamaki." another added.

Kyoya looked at Zeke with a look that told the blonde everything he needed to know. Zeke gave a slight nod before turning his attention back to the ladies. He immediately gave them all a sweet smile, and for an instant, they all thought they were looking at Tamaki. The girls gasped and sighed dreamily. They fell in love with Zeke as he leaned to them, using a soft voice, "Why do you ask about Kyoya and I? You should be asking about you and I. I'm sure we could all be closer quite easily, as well."

From their seat the twins eyed Zeke's work. "Wow, he's doing almost as good as Tono." Kaoru said. Hikaru nodded in an agreement, "Yeah. He's like a natural." then he looked at his twin, "So... Are we gonna talk to the Shadow King?" Kaoru frowned slightly in thought before shrugging. Hikaru huffed, "Wonder if Zeke knows about those pictures... Or maybe he's the one who took them." Kaoru shook his head, "No. Kyoya wouldn't be so close to him if he did." They looked at the mentioned Vice President and then to each other. "You think anybody else saw them?" Kaoru questioned. The question didn't need answers. From the way the other students had been eyeing the Shadow King, it was almost clear that they did know, and if Kyoya's clients knew, then they certainly weren't bothered by it.

The stares of the twins didn't go unnoticed. Kyoya resisted the urge to glare at the two. He expected them to be the ones to know first. He just wondered if they were going to bring it up... _'Knowing them... They will.'_ he thought, and decided to just wait until they did... After all, waiting was something he seemed to be doing a lot.

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

**Here's the new chapter. I really hope you enjoy it, and if it's slipping please forgive me. As for me, I'll be making the next chapter, manage to channel my emotions into it, maybe. So be ready for the possibility of some depression in the next chapter. Reviews much appreciated.**


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: ...DO I REALLY HAVE TO SAY IT AGAIN? :O**

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOO-**

**CHAPTER 10**

Kyoya scribbled in the pages of his notebook while Zeke took over his clients. The blonde seemed to be a natural when it came to swooning the girls.

"Hey, Kyoya-senpai?"

The cover of the notebook shut when Haruhi's voice spoke, "Yes Haruhi?" The tomboy sat beside her senpai at the table, setting down the tray of tea she was holding.

"I just wanted to ask if you were okay." Haruhi was sure to keep her voice soft.

Kyoya nodded slightly, "Yes... I'm fine, for the moment. As long as I just distract myself... I'll be fine." he said quietly. As he went to open his notebook, two shadows appeared behind him. Curiously he turned to look, seeing the Hitachiin's. Expecting them to be their usual devilish selves, Kyoya and Haruhi were surprised to see them looking at their Shadow King with curious looks.

"Kyoya, we wanted to talk to you after the club. Is that okay?" Kaoru asked. Beside him Hikaru seemed to be lost in his own thoughts to even say anything to the Ootori.

"Of course." was the simple answer. Though inside Kyoya's mind, he was wondering why they wanted to talk to him, _'Probably some plot to get me to fall into one of their tricks.'_ he thought, turning back to his notebook. Before he could open the cover again, his sight was covered, shrouding him in the dark.

"Guess who." a voice sang happily. The voice was also covered by the scent of mint and raspberry. _'Only one person in this room is obsessed with chewing both mint and raspberry gum at one time.'_ Kyoya thought, smiling.

"A blonde and flamboyant boy with an obsession with women's clothing." The hands moved away and Kyoya saw the pouted face of Zeke.

"Aw, you're no fun, Kyo!" the blonde whined. He then smiled and skipped closer, peering at the notebook and poking it with a curious finger, "What's this? A diary?" he quizzed, lifting the cover up slightly with two delicate fingers. The cover was shut closed by a pen.

"It's _my_ property, meaning no touchy."

Another pout was sent to Kyoya before Zeke skipped over to Haruhi, engrossing himself in the tomboy's life, asking her question after question of random and curious things. Kyoya shook his head in amusement before opening the notebook, finally able to return to his writing.

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

Kaoru and Hikaru stood in the meeting room where the Host Club usually were when in discussion. They waited patiently for their senpai to appear. In their minds they were somewhat worried about what they were willing to talk about soon.

The door opened and in walked the Shadow King, a calm look over his face. He shut the door behind him and approached the twins, placing one hand on his hip as he put his weight on one foot.**  
**

"So, what did you two want to talk about?"

The twins shared an uncertain glance before Kaoru spoke, "Uhm... Kyoya-senpai... Has anyone ever... Uh..." he trailed off, finding it a bit difficult to talk to his senpai. Hikaru, not being one to hold his tongue, took the conversation over.

"Have you ever let people take pictures of you?"

Kyoya just stared at the two with the same calm stare that he walked in with. Inside, though, he was a buzz with panic. Did these two twins know? It wouldn't be surprising, the two practically _lived_ on the internet. But, how could he answer to this question...? "I'm not sure what you mean, Hikaru?"

The twins - mostly Kaoru, being the more sensitive one of the two - became a bit uncertain on their next move. "Pictures. Like... Naked... Maybe you were, I don't know, drunk or something...?" Kaoru mumbled under his breath, not looking at the Shadow King.

The facade started to break and Kyoya felt his fingers twitch slightly with uncertainty. He felt his throat run dry and felt completely helpless in this topic. "I... I don't know where you two would get such an idea." he said, trying to keep calm and hide his stutter. Though, he didn't know how it would help... After all, they knew already... Why should he hide it anymore?

"Kyoya, we know... _Everyone_ does. The fact that no one has even brought it up to you is because everyone is scared to... But we're not." Hikaru explained, "So, tell us. What happened?"

"I really don't want to talk about this with you two." He had to get away from them. He didn't want to think about it again. There had to be a way to avoid it!

Before he could touch the door, identical hands gripped onto his wrist. "Kyoya, you can't hide it!" Hikaru stated.

"Just tell us what happened! We won't tell them!" Kaoru pleaded.

_'Just shut up and leave me alone!'_ Oh how Kyoya wanted to scream those words... He _wanted_ to... But instead, he screamed something else.

"What do you think happened? I was fucking _raped_, you imbeciles!"

The stillness in the room. The air seemed to became water as Kyoya tried hard to take in a breath. He felt his throat fill with nothing, the feeling of a bubble being trapped in his throat, and the only sound he could make was a strangled whimper as he tried weakly to pull his wrist out of the grip of the twins. Their grip was shakey and slowly, they let him go.

"...You're not lying... Are you?" It was Kaoru.

"There is no reason why someone would lie about such a thing, Kaoru..." Kyoya felt so small. He wanted so badly to hide. _'I want to hide in her arms again...'_ he thought, pleading for the warm hold he was in the night before.

_'You're strong, Little Brother. You always have been and you always will be. I know it.'_

_'Rin... Your wrong... Completely wrong...'_

"When did it happen...?" A gentle hand touched his, and Kyoya didn't hesitate to hold onto that hand. He didn't care which one of them it was, he just wanted to hold onto something...

"When I went to America..." _'Don't you are cry in front of them... Don't...'_ He managed to fight off the tears, but his muscles were shaking so hard... "I have to go, you two... I'll see you both tomorrow..." He just wanted to hide away...

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

Rin looked up from his own laptop when he heard the front door slam shut. He saw Kyoya pass by the opening of the main room, "Hey Kyoya. How was-" His words were ignored. "Kyoya...?"

Upstairs Akira was walking down the hallway, his focus on the phone in his hand. A gentle breeze went by when someone rushed past him. Looking back he managed to catch the retreating figure of his brother going around the corner, "Kyoya? Hey, wait!"

Kyoya headed straight for one room. He didn't stop for a single person. Even his own smaller doppelganger was ignored.

A single door was slammed shut so loud that the sound reverberated through the house. In front of that single door stood three people, all completely petrified by the screaming and crying coming from the locked room. Rin and Akira shared a single saddened glance. Kiyoshi gentle reached out, touching the door slightly, "Big Brother Kyoya...?" His hand was gently grabbed by his sister.

"Rin, Akira. There's a call for you downstairs. It's from the hospital." Fuyumi said softly, her words just barely hearable over the screaming of her younger brother. The two older siblings immediatly went to get the phone. Turning her attention downward, Fuyumi gave the best smile she could to the child beside her, "Kiyoshi, can you go into the office room and draw your Big Brother a picture? I think he'd really like one."

Though Kiyoshi was young, he didn't need translating to know what Fuyumi's words meant. He nodded slightly before stepping away slowly, giving a lingering glance to the door before leaving.

Once the child was out of earshot Fuyumi turned to the door with a serious look, "Kyoya, stop it. Destroying that room isn't going to solve one thing." She flinched at the sound of a shatter, "Kyoya Ootori! Stop that right now and come out here!" Her heart almost stopped when the door swung open. In front of her wasn't her brother... In front of her was a broken boy. A lonely and sad child that had _everything_ taken away from him... The look in Kyoya's eyes shattered her heart... The pain inside of them was so much. "Oh, Kyoya..." she said softly, taking the raven into her arms. She lowered Kyoya to the floor, sitting on the floor as she held her younger sibling, letting him cling to her as he released his tears, "Shh... It'll be okay. You'll be fine... Everything will be alright." she whispered to the sobbing teenager in her arms, gently nuzzling him as he buried himself in her shoulder.

Nearby, peeping around the corner, Kiyoshi sat, watching with both saddened and interested eyes at the two. Looking down slightly, the cat ear wearing child slowly walked up to the two. With tiny fingers he tapped both of them with his hand, getting their attention. "Is Big Brother Kyoya... Okay?" he asked quietly. He saw Kyoya's face. He wasn't looking at either of them. The older's vision was on the floor but they seemed so empty... So distant.

"Kiyoshi." Fuyumi said softly, "Big Brother Kyoya is... Not okay. He's very upset about something." she said softly, "Could you leave your brother and I alone for a while?"

Looking down at them, Kiyoshi kneeled and leaned close to his brother, "Big Brother Kyoya... You'll be okay. Kiyoshi hopes this'll help..." he took hold of the limp hand of Kyoya's, pushing something against his palm before closing Kyoya's grip around the object, "It was... From mother... Before she left Kiyoshi..." The child stood up slowly before walking away slowly.

Kyoya slowly lowered his eyes to his closed hand. Slipping his fingers open, he looked at what Kiyoshi gave him. The emerald cat eyes looked up at him as he examined the gold and silver cat shaped brooch. Turning it slightly in his fingers he saw the familiar initials of his mother. In his hand, he felt the warmth of his mother's love, that feeling slowly covering him as he slowly closed his fist around the brooch, _'Thank you... Kiyoshi.'_ he thought softly, turning his head as he hid into Fuyumi's shoulder, her arms holding him tighter.

"Everything will be okay, Kyoya-kun..." He heard.

_'Will it? Will everything be okay, Fuyumi?'_

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

**Reviews are adored.**


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: ...YOU GET THE PICTURE!**

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

**CHAPTER 11**

"Master Rin, Master Akira, do you require an escort to the hospital?"

Rin shook his head, waving off the butler as he stared up at the staircase, _'Kyoya, don't give up. Not yet.'_ A hand was gently placed on his shoulder and he looked at Akira. "Relax, Rin. Everything will be fine. Now come on. We gotta get those results for him." Nodding the brunette followed his older sibling outside. Together they moved to the limo outside.

"Where to, Master Akira?" the driver asked.

"To the hospital. Is my father still there?" Akira asked.

"No, sir. Your father went to visit Kurt Baxter at the Baxter headquarters."

Leaning back in his seat Akira slowly rolled up the window, speaking just before it closed, "Good. Thank you."

Beside Akira, Rin was staring out of the window in worry. His teeth were slowly tearing his bottom lip. A hand gently grabbed his, catching his attention. Turning slightly, Rin met with Akira's dark eyes. "Is something troubling you, Rin?" Turning away, the brunette stared back out of the darkened window.

"Just thinking. I'll be fine..." The grip on his hand loosened and slowly Akira leaned over his brother, catching Rin slightly by surprise. A blush spread over Rin's pale cheeks and across his nose as he stared into the dark eyes of his secret lover. He could just barely feel his lips being grazed by Akira's soft raven hair.

_Click_

Akira smiled as he leaned away, "You forgot to strap yourself in, my sweet little brother. Wouldn't want you to get hurt in an accident, now would we?" he said calmly. He laughed softly at the flustered brunette beside him, "What? Were you expecting to be molested or something?" his comment only made Rin turn an even darker shade of red. In a second, there was barely three centimeters between the two of them as Akira leaned over his strapped in brother, the same cool smile on his lips, "Not that I have a problem with such an idea..." he whispered softly before capturing his blushing brother's lips in his own.

Rin felt his worry fade away slowly as he allowed Akira to bring him into bliss as the older kissed him. Immediately he wished that he wasn't wearing the seat-belt, feeling a bit confined and separated from his lover. Their kiss broke for air yet they stayed close together, their lips mere centimeters apart. A small smile graced Rin's face as he gently whispered to Akira, "Akira... I love you so much..."

A matching smile came to Akira as he locked eyes with Rin. Slowly he parted his lips to respond with those same loving words... The last thing he heard was the sharp screech of a car making an attempt to halt, and the last thing he felt was a hard jerk and the feeling of being slammed hard in his head...

**-oOoOoOoOooOoOo-**

The thin led of Kyoya's mechanical pencil shattered into pieces. Sighing softly he clicked the little button in the side, calling forth another portion of the led. He wrote down on the sheet of paper in front of him. Behind him the door opened. The gentle footsteps on the carpet were faintly heard, but he still caught the sound.

"Is there something you need, Kiyoshi?"

Kiyoshi gave a soft gasp, surprised that Kyoya knew it was him that came in. The child slowly approached Kyoya, "Uhm... Big Brother Kyoya, what's wrong? Big Brother Kyoya seems to be acting funny lately..." he said softly.

Kyoya looked at the cat boy. He smiled slightly, "I'm sorry, Kiyoshi. I've been a bit... Preoccupied with some things. I'll be fine. Don't worry." he said in a reassuring tone, hoping to fool the intelligent boy. Suddenly, a sharp pang hit his chest. Immediately his hand went to his chest, right where his heart was.

"Kyoya?" Kiyoshi asked quickly.

The Shadow King looked down slightly at his chest, _'Strange... I suddenly just felt... Empty. As though something was ripped from me...'_ he thought. The door suddenly opened. Fuyumi walked in with the phone in her hand. Kyoya and Kiyoshi looked at her. "Yes, Fuyumi?"

The Ootori daughter held out the phone, "It's Rin..." she said softly, handing Kyoya the phone. Her eyes seemed concerned, as though something was wrong...

_'What else can happen...?'_ Kyoya thought in a helpless tone. Gently he stood up, walking away slightly as he brought the phone to his ear. With uncertaintly he spoke, "Hello?"

"Kyoya..." Immediately a cold wind ran through Kyoya's soul. It was clear that Rin was upset, and Kyoya could just see the tears streaming down the brunettes face. "Please, come down to the hospital... Don't bring Kiyo. Just come here immediately..." Rin's voice cut off. He hung up.

Kyoya slowly lowered the phone. "Kyoya?" He heard Fuyumi's voice. He didn't turn to her, but he lifted his hand, handing her the phone over his shoulder. "Fuyumi," he started, "I'm going out. Stay here with Kiyoshi. I'll be back soon." he said in a calm voice, walking past the two and out of the room.

"Ayane." A young veteran maid appeared at Kyoya's side.

"Yes, Master Kyoya?" Ayane asked calmly.

"Fetch my jacket." Kyoya ordered calmly, entering his room with Ayane behind him. The maid nodded, going directly to the wardrobe and grabbing his jacket. She handed it to him and went to leave. "Also, Ayane," Kyoya's voice stopped her steps, "if my father is to ever approach you from here on out asking of details about me or my personal life, please refrain from speaking. If he is to threaten you or your job, just tell him your under _my_ orders to keep silent." Ayane nodded.

"Yes, Master Kyoya."

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

The elevator doors opened and Kyoya stepped into the white hallway of the hospital. There was a sick feeling in his stomach as he walked down the hall to find Rin. _'Hospitals... How ironic that my family owns them...'_ He never did enjoy this place. The sterile scent, the sick people, the needles, the over-use of the color white. If anything, the only part of hospitals that he would enjoy as a child was the maternity floor. _'The only floor that isn't white...'_

In a black chair Rin was curled up into a tight ball. Kyoya immediately became interested when he saw the condition his brother was in, "Rin! What happened?" he asked, gently taking Rin's bandaged arm. He then gently touched the bruise on Rin's head, faintly hidden by his chestnut hair. He then saw that Rin's glasses were gone, "Rin... Tell me what happened..."

"The car... Those idiots..." Rin's body shook with a sob as he tried to continue, "Akira... They hit us so bad... H-He... He's-" he broke into cries, hiding in his knees.

That same sharp pain hit Kyoya again. _'Empty... Something being taken from me...'_ he gasped, _'Akira!'_ He grabbed Rin's shoulders tightly, "Rin! Tell me where Akira is!" He ordered, somewhat in a panic for his brother. Rin stared up at Kyoya before slowly looking away as he stood.

The hallway seemed endless, and as they walked, Kyoya saw the color white growing brighter... It felt like a mockery of the situation... How dare these walls stay so pure while the world around them is filled with dark and painful occurrences...

"Well, I was wondering when you two would show up."

Kyoya ignored the doctor. His sight was caught on the battered body of his oldest brother laying still on the bed. "Akira..." the words were so quiet, so hesitant. He didn't realize he was moving until he was right beside the bed. With trembling fingers, he reached out and gently touched his brother's face, lightly brushing the dark strands of hair from Akira's face. "Will he... Will he be alright?" Kyoya found himself asking.

"It's uncertain. The blow to his head was so intense that he was thrown into unconsciousness. There's no telling what the damage is on his head or when he'll wake up."

The words didn't at all reassure him. _'Akira... Please... Of all the people you could take away from me, Death... Why are you targeting him...?'_ Kyoya tried begging with the invisible spirit of Death, trying with so much effort to cut a deal with the Reaper himself... A feat that could never be done. _'This is my only comfort in this world... He's my protector. He's my big brother. He... He's one of the ropes that keep my sanity here on Earth...'_

Arms wrapped tightly around Kyoya. He was surprised to see Rin cling to him._ 'Then again... They were lovers... Tied together... Forever.'_ The thought of how Rin felt... How the brunette felt seeing his lover in such a condition...

"Rin... Will you be alright while I call someone...?" _'I just have to leave this room... I have to get out of here...'_

"Yeah... I- ...I'll be okay..."

The figures of patients, nurses and doctors flashed by. His lungs burned intensely as he ran to the staircase. _'I can't go home... I have to hide!'_ The metal stairs banged loudly with every quick step he made as he headed up a flight, then two... He pushed the door open as hard as he could.

The dim lights were somewhat soothing... The walls weren't that mocking white... They were a calm salmon color, a baby blue trimming around the top. He leaned against the wall, catching his breath.

_'If I lose his life... Perhaps seeing new ones will ease the pain...?'_

Kyoya moved slowly down the dim hallways of the maternity ward. _'A floor full of new life... The joy of being able to bring someone new into the family...'_ His eyes caught sight of a crying man, a young boy with tears in his eyes looking up at his father in concern. _'Though sadly... That isn't always the case.'_ Stopping he leaned against the wall again, his back pressed firmly to the salmon color before he slowly slid down. Flipping the phone open, he called the number he was looking for.

_'One ring... Two ring... Three ring-'_

"Hello?"

Never did Kyoya think he'd be glad to hear that voice... "Tamaki..."

"Mother! How wonderful that you called!" Tamaki's voice rejoiced on the line. Though loud and somewhat annoying, Kyoya was glad to hear someone was happy...

"Yes... Wonderful."

"Mother, is something wrong?"

_'Yes... Something's... Very, very wrong, Tamaki...'_ It was then the realization hit him... His brother was hurt... There was a chance that he'd never wake up... There was a possiblity that he would-

"Kyoya? Kyoya say something! You're really starting to freak me out..."

Managing to control his voice, Kyoya finally answered, the tremble in his voice faintly visible, "I have to go... I'm sorry for bothering you, Tamaki..." The phone clicked shut before slowly slipping out of his hand. The device clattered loudly on the floor as Kyoya cried into the palms of his hands. _'Akira...'_

"Master Kyoya."

Looking up he saw Rin standing beside Ayane. Kneeling in front of the broken teenager, Rin slowly lifted a folded paper up between his fingers, "Its your test results..." he said. Kyoya reached to grab them, his wrist being caught by Rin, keeping him from grabbing it. Rin lowered the paper onto the floor and he leaned forward, gently kissing his brother's forehead before moving his lips beside Kyoya's ear, his voice faltering as he whispered three words to Kyoya...

"I'm so sorry..."

Confused, Kyoya lowered his eyes to the paper. With his free hand he reached to the floor and pushed it open slowly.

"I'm so sorry..." Rin repeated, shaking more.

_'Test results...'_ Kyoya read in his mind.

"I'm so sorry..." Rin slowly wrapped his arms around Kyoya's middle, bringing him closer to him.

_'HIV... Positi-'_ The pain in his chest. It grew in strength... But all feeling left Kyoya._ '...Positive...?'_

"I'm so sorry..."

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

**There's more pain here. D: Poor Kyoya... The maternity ward is based off of how I felt when I was there when my sister had her baby. I found it so soothing and warm like a soft blanket. I didn't wish to leave! ^_^ Anyway, reviews much wanted and desired!**


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: NO OWNERSHIP OF THE HOST CLUB. THANKIES!**

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

**CHAPTER 12**

_'Wow, Kyo-chan, there must be a bug going around if you've missed two days this week. I hope you're okay. Hope we see you tomorrow.'_

_'Senpai... What happened? Listen if you're hiding from everyone because of what happened, then you're just wasting time. It isn't going to help... Call me back, okay?'_

_'Hey, Shadow King! It's been two days already. You doing alright? Call me or Kaoru back, alright?'_

_'Kyo-Yo! Come on! You're starting to scare me, and that's saying something! You know you're buddy Zeke is here for you, right? ...Right? ...Please, Kyoya. Call me... I'm worried.'_

_'Mother? What's wrong? You've been gone all week. Why did you hang up last time? What's going on? Please call and talk to me, Kyoya...'_

_'Kyoya, it's Kaoru. Everyone's REALLY worried. We all tried going to your house, but they just turned us away... What's going on with you?'_

_'Hey, Skinny! It's Kairi! Listen, Zeke's been bugging me to call you. Says you haven't been to school in a week or so. Give the Tranny a call, alright? He sounds pretty worried. Gotta go! Late!'_

By now, every phone call had started to run together, sounding as a single message... After almost two weeks of messages, Kyoya gave up on clearing out his voice-mail box. _'It's only going to get filled up again...'_

The door of his room opened slowly. "Kyoya, I brought youre homework for today." Fuyumi walked toward her brother, who lay on his stomach in front of the window. She sat beside him, setting the books down beside her. She followed her brother's vision, and slowly sighed, "Why don't you just go back?" she asked, seeing the clock tower of the school. Next to her Kyoya gave a huff as he rolled onto his back and got to his feet.

"I can't go back. Not anymore..." There was a sadness in Kyoya's voice as he moved to the couch. He dropped onto it, sliding onto his back as he stared up at the ceiling, "I just... I can't stand the thought of having to look them in the eye and lie, saying "I'm okay." when I know I'm not..." His eyes slipped closed as he spoke and when he opened them, Fuyumi was leaning over him from behind the couch.

"Then don't lie." she said, "Tell them the truth."

Kyoya quickly sat up, "Yeah, sure!" he said sarcastically, "I'll just go up and say, "Hey guys, sorry I haven't been here, I've had a lot going on at home. My brother's in a coma, I've been an emotional wreck because I was raped, and, oh yeah! I have HIV!"

There was a hurt look in Fuyumi's eyes as she looked down. Seeing this hurt in his sister didn't help the Shadow King's mood. "Fuyumi... I'm sorry, okay?" Even though she nodded, Kyoya didn't stop there. Moving to sit on his knees, Kyoya reached over and gave a hug to his sister, "I didn't mean to get upset at you." he said softly, his head resting on her shoulder, "I've just... Been really on edge."

"I know. A lot has happened in just a couple weeks." She was right...In the four days after Kyoya came back from America, his entire life broke apart... And in the past two weeks, it didn't improve.

In an attempt to shift the mood, Fuyumi changed the subject, "So, you wanna go out sometime later? We can take Kiyoshi to the ice rink and skate around a bit." she smiled, hoping the idea would cheer Kyoya up. The two of them used to be taken to ice skate with their older brother's when they were younger.

Sadly, the attempt went unaccepted... "No. You can take him if you want..." The Shadow King sat back down on his seat and switched his television on, silencing himself and cutting himself off from his sister with the television. Seeing that her brother wasn't in the mood to continue talking, Fuyumi gave a saddened sigh and left the bedroom.

For minutes Kyoya just sat there in the room, the only sound being the television's mindless chatter. _'Why am I still moping...?'_ he thought to himself. He had an answer, though...

The moment Kyoya read the results of his test, he completely went numb from the inside out. His mind didn't know what to do anymore. In his head, he was completely dead. No reason to smile, no reason to do anything anymore... He could still remember reading the paper...

_"Positive... For HIV..." The words practically tasted foul as they slipped off of Kyoya's tongue. With a shaking hand, he slowly closed his fingers around the paper, the sheet crumpling in his fist. The shaking became more severe. Kyoya clenched his teeth together as he tried so hard to not cry... No more tears. He didn't want to see a single tear anymore..._

_"Kyoya..." Rin's hand slowly slipped over Kyoya's trembling fist. Kyoya dropped his head, his hair shielding him somewhat. Rin could see the tears heavily dripping onto the floor. One followed the first... Two more dripped afterward. They dripped quicker as Kyoya's thin frame shook from suppressed cries and sobs._

_Inside the body of the Shadow King, it was like a mirror being punched. Shards of his own soul scattered, hitting the ground and breaking even more. The pieces broke to the point that no person could put them together, not even the most skilled puzzle solver. The glass of his soul continue breaking until all that was left was a sickly looking teenager sitting among a sea of glitter that once was his own soul... He was left to stand alone, and to cut his own skin as he tried to escape the sea of glass... No matter where he stepped, Kyoya would only end up causing more pain in the remains of his own body..._

_This was... The end of the Shadow King... The usually secluded and collected Master of the Dark was gone... And in his place was only a child. A beaten and lifeless child..._

Kyoya felt his lip tremble as he forced the memory out of his head. He shook himself quickly and tried to delve his distorted mind into something else... Anything.

There was a knock on his door that snapped him from his thoughts. "Come in!" he called, looking back at the screen in front of him. He could hear the door open and someone walked in. "What do you want?" he asked the person. Hands softly placed themselves on his shoulders. Looking back, Kyoya saw Rin's faint smile. "What's up, Rin?" he asked. Rin quietly walked around the seat and sat beside his sibling silently. Curiously raising an eyebrow, Kyoya leaned away to look at the brunette, "What is it?" He was surprised when Rin threw himself on him in a tight hug. "Rin, what's wrong...?"

"I can't take it!" the brunette cried, "I can't... I can't stand it!" His cries were referring to their older brother. Since the accident, Rin had gone into seclusion from their family, similar to Kyoya's seclusion from school. In fact, this was actually the first time Kyoya had actually seen Rin in the past two weeks.

"He'll be okay, Rin. Akira isn't going to just give up..." Kyoya soothed softly, "He'll wake up soon... He will." he had to control his own words. Their house was starting to crumble... Everything was breaking apart...

Rin had a tight hold on Kyoya as he nestled into the raven's chest, "He has to come back... I can't live without him..." he whimpered, "Without Akira... I can't think... I can't sleep without knowing he's okay..." Rin's feelings toward the older Ootori were obvious...

"You really love him... Don't you?"

The brunette nodded, "I do... I love him so much..." he sniffed, rubbing his nose against the shoulder of his shirt, "We don't care what anyone says. We can't choose who we fall in love with..."

"How long have you two been together...?" Kyoya asked, "When did it all start?"

Rin nestled himself into the crook of Kyoya's neck, relaxing in the arms of his younger brother, "It started a few years ago... You're seventeen right now, aren't you?" When the raven nodded, Rin continued, "Then it's been four years..."

"_Four_ years?" It was amazing... For four long years his older brothers had managed to hide their forbidden love from the world... Another question sprouted in Kyoya's head, "How did you know...? That you loved your own brother."

A faint smile came to Rin's lips, "I always seemed to see him differently. I didn't see him the way I saw you or Fuyumi. When I looked at him, I didn't see my brother Akira, a guy whom I should battle against for praise... I saw Akira, a guy whom I want to battle _for_..."

"What's it like to feel that way about someone?"

Rin looked up quickly, "You honestly don't know?" How could Kyoya not know the feeling of being in love? Rin had guessed that with the raven's sweet and handsome appearance and even his own cool persona that Kyoya would have had more than just one relationship! Slowly Kyoya shook his head. "You've _never_ had a girlfriend?"

"Rin, I've never even _kissed_ a girl, let alone date one. And let's remember, I'm not as straight as a stripper pole. I'm just as bent as you." Kyoya pointed out. Rin could only stare in shock. Kyoya huffed, "Well pardon me for not trying to stick my _thing_ in other people's asses! I'm not a golf-ball, unlike _YOU_." The comment just broke Rin's shock, and the brunette glared icily at the raven.

"...You calling me a golf-ball?" Rin quizzed.

With a smug little smile, Kyoya nodded, "Yes. You're like a golf-ball. You go into _every_ hole you pass." Immediately Kyoya found himself pinned on the floor with a smirking Rin hovering above him.

"You're so going to regret that, Bookworm." Rin threatened and immediately set out on making the raven squirm with laughter. Rin tickled any place he could. Kyoya could only cry out in peels of laughter as his sides and stomach were attacked with tickles.

"N-No! Rin, st-stop!" Kyoya laughed even harder, trying helplessly to roll under his brother and away from the playful way of torture. The two were certain that everyone could hear the laughter. For the first time in weeks, the house was filled with even a slight form of joy. The laughter just slightly overcame the down feeling in the home... For a while.

Kyoya lay on the floor of his room after Rin had stopped his attack. Said brunette was laying on Kyoya's thin body, his head resting on the younger's chest. The laughter and joy was gone, now... But wasn't it good for the house to hear some form of joy, if only for a while...?

"What if he doesn't come back...?" Rin softly asked, his eyes shut as he was slowly being lulled to sleep by Kyoya's slow and gentle breathing.

"Don't say that." Kyoya said just as softly, "He'll come back... He has to." His arms were draped lazily around Rin's back, his fingers gently drawing pictures on the brunette's back.

Rin was completely relaxed. His own voice was getting softer and even slightly slurred as he began to sleep, "Kyoya...?" he said quietly.

"Hm?"

"Love you..."

Looking down, Kyoya saw his brother's sleeping form. He softly smiled, "Love you, too, Rin..." he said softly, moving a hand and sliding Rin's glasses off and resting them on the floor beside them.

The quietness of the room was disturbed by the gentle hum of a cellphone. Slowly, so not to awaken the sleeping Rin, Kyoya reached into his pocket and slid his phone out. There was a familiar picture of an envelope being opened on the screen... _'A message.'_

_Kyoya, I'm tired of not seeing u... We have 2 talk... Come 2 the park near school or I will come get u..._

"So the blonde has finally decided to be strict for once." Looking down at Rin, Kyoya only laughed softly, "I got some work to do..."

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

**Me: Which blonde is Kyoya talking about? ;D You tell me! :3 Or maybe I already know. ;D**

**COOKIES ARE NICE, RAMEN IS GOOD, BUT REVIEWS ARE ORGASMIC. 8D EH?**


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: OWNAGE OF NOTHING. :D EXCEPT KIYOSHI, THE PLOT, ZEKE, KAIRI, AND RIN AND AKIRA'S PERSONAS AND NAMES. :D**

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo- **

**CHAPTER 13 **

It took some time for Kyoya to leave the home, mostly because it took quite a bit of labor to get Rin off of him and onto the couch once again. He actually was curious as to why he was called out to the park... _'They're worried... I don't blame them.' _he had practically gone M.I.A to the others...

The Shadow King headed to the park near the school like the text had said. He was looking forward to seeing a familiar face...

At the park, Kyoya saw the familiar face of the exuberant blonde... "Kyo!" Kyoya was enveloped in a tight hug and he was happy to feel the familiar cold studs of lip piercings press against his neck.

"Hello Zeke." Kyoya said softly. He followed the Japanese American further into the park. It was empty, no children nor adults around. It was kind of a good thing. Zeke always seemed to get excited in children's parks. He was proven right as the blonde immediately hurried toward the slide.

Zeke got a running start and scampered up the front of the slide, his sneakers sticking quite well to the slippery metal of the slide. Once at the top he turned and sat down at the top, "Hey, come on up! There's enough space for the both of us!" he called down to Kyoya. Smiling, the raven decided to join the blonde. Kyoya repeated Zeke's actions, running up the slide just like the blonde had done.

The two sat on the slide together. Glancing over, Kyoya looked to the blonde, "What did you want to talk about?" he asked.

For a moment, Zeke was silent. He slowly looked down, fidgeting with his fingers. Then he leaned against the taller's shoulder, "I'm so sorry..." he said softly. He felt Kyoya lay his head in top of his.

"For what, Xephyr?" Kyoya asked.

"Everything... I'm sorry that I completely destroyed your life..." Zeke shut his eyes, rubbing his face slightly against Kyoya's shoulder, "If I hadn't had taken you to that _stupid_ party... Nothing would have ever happened."

"Zeke..." Guilt was completely evident in the cross-dresser. He found himself pulling the blonde closer, his arm wrapping itself around Zeke's thin, curved waist. He nuzzled his nose against Zeke's golden, spiked hair, surprised by how soft it really was. The blonde trembled in his hold, "Zeke, are you crying?" Kyoya asked, leaning down slightly to look at the shorter one's face. Sure enough, there were trails of tears on the boy's cheeks. "Oh, Xephyr..." The tears were gently brushed away and he held the boy closer to him.

"I'm so sorry! Everything's _my_ fault!" Zeke whimpered. "I let them do that to you... I let them hurt you and violate you... I'll never forgive them or myself..." He felt his face be lifted and looked up at Kyoya, "...I let them hurt the guy that I adored so much..."

The wind lightly blew against them. Kyoya felt himself faintly redden at Zeke's words. He felt his own heart quicken just slightly as he stared down in surprise at the cross-dresser. Zeke lowered his eyes, the sapphire colored orbs being hidden by his long lashes. Kyoya finally managed to find his voice, "Wh... What do you mean by... 'Adored'?"

Those lashes moved and uncovered the hidden sapphire eyes, "I..." Zeke started but stopped, overcome by fear. Kyoya leaned closer, his lips brushing on Zeke's cheek. He softly whispered to the blonde.

"Tell me... I want to know."

Without lifting his eyes, Zeke very quietly spoke, "I like you, Kyoya... A lot. I honestly think I fell in love with you when we first hung out, but... I was still with my boyfriend... But now that I'm here and Blake has left me... I just wanted to get closer to you." he looked to the Ootori, "But every time I thought about telling you how I felt, I would think about what happened to you, and I just would tell myself that for my mistakes I could never deserve someone like you..." Zeke looked down again, "Kyoya... I care about you so much... And I'll never, ever be able to forget my mistake of letting you be completely broken..."

Kyoya felt himself blush even more at Zeke's words of affection. He faintly gave a smile. Tilting his head slightly, he gently pressed his lips against Zeke's temple before saying, "Zeke... I don't blame you for anything that has happened. I will _never_ blame you for it." he gently grabbed Zeke's chin, making him look toward him, "As for your affection..." without a second word, Kyoya gently pressed their lips together. Zeke returned the kiss immediately, his hands going to grab Kyoya's with a shaking grip.

Kyoya smiled against the blonde's lips, somewhat curious as to what else he could do with the chilly piercings pressed against his bottom lip. He decided to test out these little studs... With curiosity, Kyoya broke the kiss for just a split second only to bite down gently on one of the metal studs, giving a light tug to it. The result was a soft giggle from Zeke. Kyoya smiled at the sound. "Already I can tell that you're going to enjoy my piercings." Zeke said softly. Kyoya gave a slight laugh, grabbing Zeke's shaking hands.

Looking at each other, Kyoya felt a little more lighter... He smiled faintly, _'Maybe I can relax a little more with him...' _He thought, looking over the blonde in front of him. "Where did you get the idea of getting such unique piercings?" Kyoya asked softly.

Zeke touched his own lips before answering, "In all honesty, these aren't very unique." slowly he smiled, "If you think _these_ are unique, then you'll really enjoy my other piercing." He leaned closer once more, "Wanna see?" He quizzed. He was answered by another kiss, this one having a sense of even more curiosity and interest. He leaned up slightly more, being slightly shorter than Kyoya. As they kissed, Zeke gently pressed his tongue against Kyoya's lip, and the Ootori felt this other piercing, located on Zeke's tongue.

From gentle to more passionate... The two kissed just a bit more deeper. Kyoya felt himself flush slightly as he felt Zeke's piercing against his own tongue, the metal a chilly cold and Zeke's tongue being warm. The kiss was cut off by Zeke, who pulled away slowly, "You sure you're okay? I don't want you to move fast just because you think you have to."

"You're sweet... Did you know that?" Kyoya said softly. The two kissed once more before they leaned away a bit more. Kyoya looked at the blonde, "So... What happened to your boyfriend?" he asked. He had met Blake back when he was in America. Blake was not only Zeke's boyfriend, but they were also best friends since childhood. As far as Kyoya knew, Blake was an orphan and had been living with Kairi. Zeke, Blake, and Kairi once had a three-way relationship together, but it ultimately ended at Kairi's hand because he said he didn't want Zeke and Blake to be around his drug-use and any other things that could corrupt the two younger boys. Since leaving America, Kyoya didn't know anything about Blake...

"He... Just left." Zeke said with a slight shrug, "When I told him that I was moving here to Japan, he said he didn't want to go through another bad long-distance relationship, and that he would rather we break-up right then and there than to go through a harder, more painful break-up through the internet or a phone call..." Zeke gave another shrug, "It's whatever, I guess..."

Kyoya could only imagine how hurt Zeke must have been... Blake was Zeke's world and life. The little red head was one of the sweetest boys Kyoya had ever met, and he honestly thought that the two were going to last forever... He's surprised to learn that Blake had wanted to end it.

Zeke looked around, still speaking, "It's hard enough being away from Kairi, especially now that he's in rehab. Then when Blake said he wanted to break up, I just... Didn't know what to do..." he looked at Kyoya, "You won't leave me... Right Kyoya?" he asked softly.

"Of course not, Xephyr." Kyoya answered, "I'll always be by your side..." he leaned down, kissing the boy's cheek softly, "Come on. We should move somewhere else, because my ass is going numb from being squeezed into this little space." he said before managing to get free from the space he was in and sliding down the slide. Zeke smiled and followed him down. He stood up, looking down when he felt fingers lace into his. Following the hand, he looked into Kyoya's dark eyes. Kyoya smiled softly, looking down at the blonde. In his mind, he was hoping that this was just a small sign that things were turning around... Maybe?

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo- **

**REVIEWS AND I SHALL UPDATE MOAR.**


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER: PLOT OWNERSHIP. KIYOSHI OWNAGE. RIN AND AKIRA PERSONA AND NAME OWNAGE. NO HOST CLUB OWNAGE. D;**

***o*o* **

**CHAPTER 14 **

It felt nice to hold someone's hand. Soft, smooth hands laced to his own. The chill of Zeke's ring felt nice against his fingers. _'He has such small hands.'_ Kyoya thought, looking at the blonde's petite sized hands. They were so small... **  
**

"Stop staring at my hands." Zeke said, giggling as he tried to hide his hands from Kyoya's eyes, "I hate how small they are." He laughed a bit more as Kyoya pull Zeke's hands toward him, "Stop, Kyo!" he laughed.

"But I love how small they are. They're so cute." Kyoya replied, laughing as the blonde tried to get away from the kisses he was placing on those small, smooth hands, "So small." He nibbled the soft skin of Zeke's knuckles, the blonde's actions ceasing, replaced by soft laughter as he moved closer.

"You're so weird, did you know that, Kyoya?" Zeke asked once his hand was released.

"_I'm_ the weird one? Who's the one in a skirt and an extra small woman's t-shirt of Jack Sparrow?" Kyoya retorted back, pointing teasingly at Zeke's figure, "You, sir, are the weird one, and I have a good mind to get in a gentleman's fight with you but... I don't have a glove." Zeke laughed, remembering how back when they were in America, Kairi had declared a "gentleman's fight" with both of them and had quite promptly... Slapped both of them with a single glove. **  
**

"Be glad I don't have my gloves on me, or I'd probably have won by now."

They saw a limo coming toward them, and immediately, and quite unwillingly, their hands separated, leaving both of them with a cold feeling on their palms.

"You two can hold hands if you want. I won't tell."

Kyoya groaned inwardly at the sound of his brother's voice, "Why did _you_ come?" he asked the brunette, getting in beside his brother. Rin smiled quite cheerfully as Zeke got in beside Kyoya.

"I didn't feel like being asleep at home and I wanted to see my sweet little brother." The brunette giggled as Kyoya pouted slightly, pulling the blonde to him.

"Go the Hell, Rin..." Kyoya said half-heartily.

Faking a glare, Rin pouted out his lips, "No, I won't go to Hell! It has a restraining order on me!" he answered. Zeke giggled at the response, and Kyoya only smirked, shaking his head in amusement. Rin grinned, "Aren't I just priceless?" he asked playfully.

"Well, you're _something_ but priceless just isn't the word." Kyoya mumbled, catching the brunettes pouted glare. "So, Rin... Heard anything about Akira...?" As much as he didn't want to mention the older brother... Kyoya just wanted to know how he was.

The pout slowly left, replaced by Rin's distant look, "No... Nothing's changed."

Seeing the two brothers looking so sad... "What... Happened to your brother?" Zeke asked cautiously, looking up at his raven haired companion with concern. Without looking down, Kyoya answered his question.

"Akira and Rin got into a car accident about two weeks ago... Rin, he's okay. Nothing but a few cuts and bruises, but Akira..." A tear slowly made its way down Kyoya's cheek, "Akira's been left in a coma... And no one knows when he'll wake up." He felt a gentle hand rub the single tear away, and he leaned into the touch, wanting the comfort.

"He's been in the coma for two weeks..." Rin continued, "And it doesn't look like it's gonna end anytime soon..." he stared out the window, thinking about his lover, _'Akira... I want you home... And want you back.'_ he had to hold back his tears, _'Kyo-kun doesn't need to see me crying anymore...'_ he thought.

"Rin... I want to see him. Please, Rin...?" When Rin looked up, he saw Kyoya's pleading look. He knew his little brother... Akira was the one who always protected them... All of them. Akira was their older brother, he had to keep his siblings in line and safe... Akira was their rock.

"Okay... We'll go see him right now." He glanced at the blonde, "Zeke? Would you like to join us?" The blonde quickly nodded, wanting to be there for his boyfriend...

***o*o* **

The hallway was busy with passing nurses and doctors. Kyoya felt uneasy again, wanting so badly to just turn around and leave the hospital as fast as possible... His grip on Zeke's hand tightened quite drastically, a hold that was immediately returned by the blonde. They stopped at a door, and Kyoya's steps wouldn't go any further...

"Kyoya... Are you okay?" Rin asked, turning to his brother. The Shadow King shut his eyes, looking away from the door. "Kyo?" the brunette pressed.

"I can't go in there... I want to, but..." A soft kiss was placed on his cheek, and he opened his eyes to see the reassuring sapphire eyes of Zeke. Looking to Rin, he saw the same look.

"If it comes down to the point where you can't take it, I'll take you out of here... Kay?" Zeke said softly, gently petting the raven's hand. With a nod as an answer, the door was opened and Kyoya shivered as they entered Akira's room.

Nothing had changed... There lay the eldest of the siblings, still and quiet as the day he first was put there. Rin ran gentle fingertips along his older brother and lover's face, gently brushing a few raven locks from Akira's peaceful face, "Hey Akira..." the brunette whispered, "It's me, Rin... I brought Kyo-kun." he smiled softly, "He's got a boyfriend now..."

Kyoya stood beside Rin, his grip on Zeke's hand loosening just a bit, "Zeke, this is my brother... Akira." he looked to the blonde, "He's one of the few that helped take care of me after my mother disappeared." Zeke lowered his eyes to the unresponsive raven on the bed before giving a polite smile to him.

"Hello Akira..." Zeke said softly, "You're doing really well with taking care of Kyoya, and I'm glad to have him with me... I'm pleased to finally meet you and I... I look forward to speaking to you." He nervously bit the corner of his lip, an action that Kyoya caught.

"What is it?" Kyoya asked.

Shaking his head, Zeke tried to act casual, "Nothing, just... I remember my mother... Back when she was ill and before..." he trailed off, uncertain if he wanted or even could continue. This was the similarity between he and Kyoya. Both having lost their mother's at such young ages... The minuscule difference being that, Kyoya's mother walked away and Zeke's mother passed away... One was willing, the other was not...

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have brought you here."

Quickly, Zeke shook his head, "No, it's fine. I wanted to come." He glanced down at their hands, "I wanted to be here, with you." he lifted his eyes to those of the Shadow King's, "No matter what, I'll always be here with you, okay, Kyo?"

_'No matter what...? What if it was something about me...? What if... You knew what I had...?'_ The mere thought of Zeke knowing his dirty secret... Kyoya wanted to cling to the boy, begging for him to never leave his side... He wanted, but he didn't. He just faked his smile, and accepted Zeke's words, _'Xephyr... You'll never want me if you knew what I had... Who would want a plum when someone has already left their mark in it...?' _

***o*o* **

**R.E.V.I.E.W.S **


	15. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN THE PLOT, KIYOSHI, ZEKE, RIN AND AKIRA'S NAMES AND PERSONA'S AND NOTHING ELSE. :D **

***o*o* **

**CHAPTER 15**

"Are you going to come back to school...?"

"I can't..."

"Why not?"

"I just can't..."

Through the thick darkness, Zeke could see Kyoya's face. Gently he traced his fingers across Kyoya's smooth face and slowly traced the Shadow King's soft lips. They lay together in Kyoya's bed, their legs intertwined and their hands clasped together, fingers laced together. "Kyoya, everyone is worried about you... You have to come back." Zeke begged quietly, "You're friends need you..."

Kyoya shut his eyes and turned away, "I can't look them in the eye ever again, Zeke... Never." He gripped the sheet slightly in his hand. The bed shifted slightly, arms going around his waist. He relaxed more as he felt the soft kisses on his neck. He smiled, unconsciously exposing more of his neck, "Stop..." he said softly, laughing as Zeke's kisses moved along his neck, his tongue occasionally coming out and touching the chilly metal stud against Kyoya's smooth neck. "Let me sleep, Zeke." Kyoya whispered, his body doing the opposite of what his words were saying. He turned his head slightly and caught Zeke's mouth with his own.

"You keep saying 'stop' but you just play along. Make up your mind, Kyo." the blonde teased, lightly nipping at his boyfriend's lower lip.

"I used to be indecisive... Now I just don't know." The two laughed softly, their kisses become just sightly more intense. Moving, Zeke pull the raven over him. Kyoya deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping inside the blonde wet mouth. He enjoyed the warmth of Zeke's mouth, pushing his tongue against the other's. Hands slipped around his shoulders, tangling themselves in his soft raven locks, tugging slightly. The simple tugs just egged him on...

"For a first timer you sure are good..." Zeke breathed as Kyoya started kissing his neck and collar, gasping as he felt the Ootori's teeth bite his skin. Kyoya's hands were holding his waist, rubbing slow circle around the blonde's hip bones with his thumbs. "Are you going on instinct or-" Zeke whimpered slightly, the mischievous raven now marking the soft skin, rubbing his teeth more against the skin.

Hearing the blonde so submissive, it just made Kyoya go further. He moved a hand from the boy's waist and slipped it under Zeke's shirt, skimming up his chest like a feather.

The shivers in Zeke's spine were replaced by bliss as Kyoya's fingers starting toying with his nipples. The raven's skilled painters fingers lightly pinched the pink buds, pulling a mewl of pleasured pain from the blonde. "My, you sound like a little kitten." Kyoya whispered against Zeke's bruised neck, "How cute..." he gave another pinch before rubbing his thumb softly on the abused nub. Zeke let out a soft sigh of pleasure, his eyes on Kyoya's calm face.

Feeling a little bolder, Kyoya pushed the shirt up and off of Zeke. Gentle pecks trailed down Zeke's collar to the whimpering boy's chest and he continued even lower. Zeke shivered as Kyoya's tongue swirled around his naval, darting in and out quickly. The smaller male squirmed slightly, his hands, needing something to grab, tangling themselves in Kyoya's hair. "Dance for me, my little blonde..." Kyoya whispered before running his tongue along the waist of Zeke's pants.

"Kyoyaaa..." Zeke whined helplessly, "You're driving me mad... Please... Do _something_ to me..." He begged and begged more as Kyoya's tongue ran itself up the blonde's stomach and chest. Sitting up he eyed the panting and blushing blonde. The very sight of Zeke like this made pleasure pool in his lower region. _'Zeke... My beautiful Zeke...'_ he thought. If he was anybody else, Kyoya would have continued on... If he _was_ somebody else, he _could_ continue on...

"K-Kyo?" Zeke sat up quickly in worry as Kyoya climbed off of him. He slid up behind the raven who sat on the edge of the bed, "Kyo-chan, what's wrong...?" he asked, his arms around Kyoya's middle. It didn't help his worry when Kyoya pushed him away, "Honey, what's-"

"I can't, Zeke. We can't go any further."

"Look if it's about trust and everything, I understand." Zeke said, "I mean, I'm probably not the best person to sexually trust, since I used to be in a three-way relationship, but I can assure you-"

"It isn't _that_... It's..." Kyoya sighed, "Never mind. Just... Go back to sleep." But he didn't lay down. Zeke watched sadly as Kyoya got up and moved to the bathroom.

"Kyoya..." He mumbled softly as the door shut.

The bathroom floor was cold as Kyoya sat down. He pulled his knees to his chest, feeling the burn of tears in his eyes as he hugged himself tightly, _'Zeke... I can never tell you, or Tamaki, or anybody about what happened...'_ he whimpered softly, trying to muffle the sounds so Zeke couldn't catch a sound. He didn't want to worry the boy any more...

_'How can I change it...? What did I __do__ to deserve this!'_ No human should be cursed with such a life...

Onyx eyes lifted slowly to the drawer of the counter. With a trembling hand he reached out, touching the handle of the drawer, pulling it out slowly. He delicately lifted out something. Why was he doing this? He was _better_ than this!

"Kyo, open the door." Zeke's voice was nothing... "Kyoya, please. I'm getting worried. Tell me what's wrong." The boy might as well be talking to a wall...

The light shimmered on it... _'Make me numb... Make me forget...'_ It was a comfort... He just wanted to get out... He wanted to escape...

"Kyoya? Kyoya, what are you doing in there?"

_'Please forgive me... Everyone...'_

He embraced the stinging in his arm... The pain seemed to dim. He had to sigh in relief as he felt the tightness in his chest release. _'So... Comforting...'_ he thought, going again across his pale skin. The red contrasted to brightly against his almost snow colored wrist. He leaned against the wall, almost smiling as he felt a feeling of bliss and peace for the first time in nearly three weeks... It felt... Good? How could something so wrong, feel so good...?

_'It's like... All the suffering, all the pain and agony... Is being taken out on me... And I feel better...'_

Kyoya dropped the razor, the metallic object hitting the bathroom rug with a soft thud. Red dripped down his arm and off his elbow onto his black pants. He stared, shocked at his own actions... And slowly, he smiled... Shaky, but it was a smile... A smile of relief... And peace...

_This_ was how he would cope... He'd punish his own body, for mistakes he made... No one else, but him...

***o*o* **

**Reviews will maybe make it better?**


	16. Chapter 16

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT, ZEKE, AND RIN AND AKIRA'S NAMES AND PERSONAS. THANKS. **

***o*o* **

**CHAPTER 16**

Three weeks passed by. To everyone else, it seemed like things were shining more. Fuyumi and Rin were more than happy when they saw Kyoya being more open and cheerful. Kyoya didn't go back to school, but he started talking with the others more. It seemed like his entire persona flipped over completely...

_Come up to meet you... Tell you I'm sorry... Don't know how lovely you are... _

The music was soft, smooth, and comforting... It relaxed Kyoya as he painted. He sang to the music, "_I had to find you, tell you I need you, let's just go back to the start..._"

His happiness... He was glad everyone finally stopped worrying...

_'I'm just lying to them...'_ Kyoya stopped his brush, his eyes traveling down the canvas to his arm... Three weeks worth of cuts and scabs... Some had turned black from scabbing, others were covered by band-aids or left to heal on their own. Some were even pink from being picked at... _'If I can't make more, I just open up the old ones...'_

The brush dropped to the floor, landing on the wood. Slowly, Kyoya sat on the floor, knees pulled up to his chest and his arms resting on them. "How can I let myself stoop so low...?" He asked himself. He looked up, slowly laying on his back, "She must be so disappointed..." he whispered, "Mother... What else can I do...?" he stared up at the panting above him.

When the fourth anniversary of his mother's disappearance came around, Kyoya had brought in a small ladder and had painted the cieling. Above him now was a split scenery of day and night. The fine line of white split diagonally from one corner of the room to the other. One half was the blue sky, white clouds and even birds were captured in the painting... The other half was the dark night sky, mixed with blacks, blues, and the white speckles of the stars. In the day there was the sun, painted so detailed that it seemed like it was shining right on him, and in the night, there was the moon, painted so white and bright. _'Day and night don't matter here...'_ Kyoya thought, _'Here time is completely still, and nothing else matters but yourself...'_

"Master Kyoya?"

Kyoya turned his head to the door, "Yes?" he answered the maid.

"Mr. Ootori wants to speak with you immediately."

If he could, Kyoya would have crawled into a hole and died... Nothing good ever happened when his father called him. He always expected to be ordered around...

Once up, Kyoya pulled off his painting shirt and pulled on his long sleeved shirt. _'The last thing I need is __him__ seeing these...'_ He thought, leaving the room and locking it securely behind him. As he locked it he wondered something, _'Maybe I should get six locks and lock every other one... That way when someone tried to pick them open, they'll be locking the other three...'_ He almost laughed at his idea, shaking his head slightly.

Yoshio Ootori's office was one of the largest rooms in the home, and in all honesty, Kyoya felt quite... Small. He entered the office and immediately was stared down by his father, "You wished to see me, father?" He had to hide the nervous tone in his voice...

"Yes, Kyoya." Yoshio seemed... Emotionless. The very emptiness in his voice made Kyoya's hairs stand on end... "I have a question for you?"

_'Oh God...'_ His palms became sweaty, "Yes, sir...?"

"Can you explain to me what this is?"

The folder fell onto the floor and the pictures scattered out of it. Images that would make any perverted soul blush... Lewd scenes of Kyoya, body bare and strangers caressing his figure... They almost made him vomit... The images of his drugged figure, his cheeks flustered from heat... How his body was covered in sweat...

"You seem surprised, Kyoya. I would imagine that they wouldn't be shocking, seeing as it's _you_ in the pictures."

They were surprising because they gave him an image of what happened... And they made me him remember...

_"Look at what we got... This one's even prettier than the others." The guy was blurred through his drugged sight, but he could see those lust filled eyes... Eyes that looked so blue, they seemed silver... _

_"I know. And he's Asian. Now that's even hotter." A girl, one with strikingly amazing green eyes... He felt her lick up his neck, triggering a disgusted shiver in him. She whispered softly, "So exotic." _

_One held him up while the other undressed him. He could feel the humid club room air hitting his body. "Aren't you just the most beautiful thing?" The guy said, caressing him in his arms and pulling his head back before pressing a forceful kiss, his tongue going into his mouth. He wasn't as out of it as he thought... He could feel everything... _

_The sights were blurry, the smells were heavy, the feelings... Were erotic. He couldn't help but moan against the kiss as he felt the hot tongue on his now exposed member. "Listen to that, Jo-Jo... He likes it." It felt so good... So sickeningly good as that mouth sucked hungrily. He just felt his body become heavier as the drugs flowed inside of him. The guy released his mouth, leaving him to roll his head back and pant helplessly as a talented tongue worked around him. _

_"Look at him... He likes it a lot." No he didn't... _

_Yes he did... _

_No he-... It was a battle inside of him. He wanted to fight back. He wanted to push them away and call for help, but even thinking was a chore now. _

_The mouth moved away from his member, and he naturally whined in displeasure. A hand replaced the place and started stroking him slowly. While this happened, the guy started kissing and biting at his chest and collar, being none too gentle. The teeth were sharp against his skin, and he couldn't help but cry out in pain as blood came from those wounds. _

_"Don't bruise him too bad." Mockery was in those words. _

_"It's amazing how he's still even responsive." He could practically imagine the sick smile on the guy's lips, "How would he respond to this?" _

_Naturally tensing as fingers slid slowly down his lower back. "I like it when they scream..." The discomfort as those fingers slid up his entrance slowly, and his muscles only tensed more. _

_"Make him scream, Jo-Jo." _

_A body moved behind him, and he was pulled into someone's lap. He was panting harder as a hand stroked his member faster, a tight hold on him. He moaned loudly as fingers abused his nipples. He cried out slightly, like an a helpless kitten... It was becoming pleasurable... Surprisingly pleasurable... _

_Then he screamed out in agony as he was torn from the inside... And he could feel the blood already flowing out of him... _

Kyoya grit his teeth as he suppressed his cry at the memory. He didn't want anymore... No more memories.

"Kyoya. Tell me where those came from."

Kyoya ignored the question as he slipped to his knees, whimpering more as he shut his eyes, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!" he sobbed each word to his father as he stared at the pictures, "I'm useless. I'm worthless." he finally just lied down on the carpet, his face buried in his arms as he cried more and more.

He seemed to lay there forever as he just wept and nearly wailed with shame, fury, and depression. It was when a hand touched his shoulder that he finally looked up. Standing over him were the remaining four Ootori's. Fuyumi held Kiyoshi at her side, the young boy holding his sister's dress as he looked at Kyoya. Rin was kneeling at Kyoya's side, watching him a concerned stare. Their father stood between Rin and Fuyumi, his expression one of sympathy...

Kyoya looked at these people... The handful of people who were left now. Seeing them there, watching him with worry... He could only slowly look back down with a trembling lip and more tears slipping down his face...

***o*o***

**REVIEWS? :D **


	17. Chapter 17

**DISCLAIMER: OWNAGE OF NOTHING. :3 BOOYAH! **

**o-o-o**

**Chapter 17 **

_Tick... Tick... Tick... Tick... Tick _

The carpet seemed so interesting... Such a pretty royal blue color... Though it seemed more of a navy blue... Or perhaps sapphire... Maybe even just a simple blue...

"Do you like painting?"

Kyoya looked up, confused by the young woman's question. He sat up more, adjusting his glasses as he gave her a puzzled look. She merely laughed softly and pointed to him, "You're hands. They're stained." Looking down, Kyoya discovered she was right. His fingers were slightly stained by dry paint of various colors... He gave a slight nod, a silent answer to her.

"Do you plan on studying art in college?"

He gave a quiet shrug, his eyes back on that intriguing blue carpet. It was Wednesday. He spent this day with his new therapist. This was the second time here. The first day was just silence...

_Tick... Tick... Tick... _

_'That clock is getting more and more annoying...'_ Kyoya thought, sending a side glance to the little clock.

"Is the clock bothering you?"

Hesitating, he nodded. He watched her get up and walk over, shutting the device off, and finally stopping that annoying ticking. "You didn't have to." he said quietly.

"Oh, so you _can_ talk." she said, a hint of playfulness in her voice as she sat down, "I was starting to wonder if you were just a mute." Come to think of it... This was the first time Kyoya's spoken all day... Even Zeke hadn't heard the raven say more than one word at a time... Yet the blonde didn't leave him... They're phone conversations were even quite quiet, except for Zeke's voice...

_"Hello? Kyoya?" _

_"...Yeah..." _

_"Hey, how's it going?" _

_"...Good..." _

_"You know it was really cool that your sister took us with her to the ice rink. Thanks a lot for teaching me how to skate." He laughed softly, an honest, real laugh... _

_"...Welcome..." _

_"Kairi called me today. He said he's finally out of rehab and that he'll see if he can come visit soon." He could hear the joy behind that voice. He missed his friend... _

_"...Cool..." _

_"The weather's changing. It's getting warmer now. I heard that the cherry blossoms should be blooming soon, too." It was his dream to see the cherry blossoms in bloos... To be caught in one of their storms in the wind. _

_"...Yeah..." _

_"Maybe this weekend we can-" There was another voice. His father. Something about having to go meet a client... "Hey, I have to go. Dad's telling me we have to go somewhere. Talk to you later?" _

_"...Yeah..." _

_"Alright... I'll miss you, hun..." He called him "hun" all the time... His "pet name." _

_"...Same..." _

That's how they spoke... Zeke never minded... He said that as long as he could just hear Kyoya talk he was happy...

"Kyoya?"

Looking up, Kyoya got a real good look at his therapist. Her name was Joanna Sastine, but she told him that she preferred the name Johnny. She was French and an ex-military woman, but she told him that she wanted to help the minds of people. She was a pretty young thing with dark hair in a pixie cut and pretty brown eyes.

"Kyoya... What happened to your arms?"

He gently touched the bandages around his wrists and forearms. He avoided her gaze.

"That's okay... You don't have to tell me the story." He slowly looked back to her. She smiled warmly to him. "Maybe you can tell me about yourself?" she asked, leaning forward in her seat at her desk, "Maybe about your... Family?"

His family? They were the ones who sent him here... "My mother disappeared when I was seven..." He started with that... It practically was his first memory... "I was mostly raised by the maids and my sister... I don't remember much about my mother..."

"What _do _you remember?"

That was a good question... What _did_ he remember? He faintly smiled, staring at that damned blue carpet... "I remember... Her voice... The way she used to sing... I remember she was so careful with everything... Always careful when she got dressed... When she did her hair and makeup... The way she held her tea in her hand, so gently..."

It was almost sad to Johnny, seeing the child in Kyoya... A child so alone... A child begging for his mother back... "What did she look like...?"

Kyoya had to close his eyes for that one... "Beautiful..." he whispered, "So beautiful..."

_When Kyoya was barely six, he would sit in his parent's room, watching how delicately his mother would prepare herself for the day. He would lay on his stomach, feet swinging in the air behind him and his chin rested on the palms of his hands, glasses sliding slowly down his nose. His mother sat in front of him at her vanity, pulling her long chestnut colored hair up and pinning it up so that it would hang so delicately down to her shoulders. _

_"Kyoya, you're glasses keep slipping." she told him, smiling back at him from the mirror. She laughed softly as he shoved them back up, "Be delicate, Kyoya." she said and carefully applied her lipstick. _

_"Delicate?" Kyoya had a tendency to be rough with everything... If he wasn't to rough, then he was too clumsy. _

_"Yes. Delicate." She turned to him, looking at him with those tea colored eyes, "If not, you'll have trouble with doing things." she gently picked up a cup of tea that a maid had brought earlier, "Using the faintest of touches and holds, caressing everything as if it would shatter from the slightest nudge..." _

_Kyoya watched her as she gently set the cup down, the glass not making a single noise against its saucer... "Delicate..." he repeated. His mother stood, coming toward him. She pet his hair softly, smiling down at him. _

_"My sweet little Kyoya." she said softly, "I have to be delicate with you. You're so small and fragile... I'm always afraid I'll break you." She gently traced his face with the faintest of touch, "My little angel..." _

_He smiled as she began to sing softly, heading to her wardrobe. "Mama, will you sing my favorite song?" he asked. She looked back at him, pale face framed by that chestnut hair and shining with that beautiful smile... _

_There is no future_

_There is not past_

_Thank God this moment's not the last..._

It was then that Kyoya realized that he had actually started to cry... The tears slowly made their way down his face. Quickly he wiped them away, "I'm sorry." he said.

Johnny smiled, her own eyes filled with tears, "That's fine..." with a delicate hand, she wiped those tears away. She took a soft breath, fixing her papers on her desk, "Our time is up... I'm glad we got to talk more this time, Kyoya..." she stood up, and he did the same. "You know, Kyoya... You really seem like a lovely young boy... And I'm sure your mother would say the same..." she smiled... Just like _she_ did...

Kyoya blinked, seeing that smile... He looked down slightly before looking back at her, smiling softly, "Would... You like to make a memory with me...?"

_Click!_

The photo of Johnny and him together... He liked remembering faces... Faces that would make him smile whenever he needed to... One of many... One of thousands... Kyoya liked to keep memories...

**o-o-o**

**REVIEWS? :3**


	18. Chapter 18

**Inspiration hit me...At the worst times...This chapter is written on Thanksgiving Day...And I was inspired by...A bit of an...An episode I had today. This chapter was a bit difficult to write...But I hope, it's worth it...Please note that if any of this sucks it's because...I'm...I'm not in a good state of mind right now...Actually, I don't even think it's safe for me to even be typing...Let alone thinking. From the end of the bathtub scene and beyond, it's all been written after my episode. Enjoy it... **

**Chapter 18 **

**-o-o-o-**

The air was chilly in the bathroom. Like ice. No matter how much he dipped into the steaming water, it still was cold.

_'Is there anything warmer than boiling?'_ Kyoya thought bitterly as he dipped into the water until it reached the bottom of his nose. He trembled under the water, still wondering why he was so cold...

_'Oh yeah...I'm shivering not because of the cold...'_ He lifted a hand out of the water, staring into the silver blade of a razor. His face reflected off it...The reflection of what he has become...

Since his habit of self-mutilation began...Kyoya had changed. Everything in him dimmed. The cool look in his onyx eyes was gone...Now they were a faded grey, void of all light. He seemed paler...And even thinner than before. He hid his weight loss with larger clothes. Sweater, sweatpants, t-shirts. They had all become his new wardrobe.

The bandages were tight around his wrists in the day...And at night, they'd come off, revealing scars of red and black...

_'When did I become this way...? Was it after the rape...? Or after revealing it all to my family...? Maybe it was after the car accident...Or when the test results came back...'_ He didn't remember anymore...All he knew was that this was his comfort. His getaway. A chilly cold blade against his hot pale skin...

Biting his lip until it bled, Kyoya suppressed a cry, only a whimper escaping as he dug the blade across his moonlight colored skin. The pale flesh was soon riddled with red as blood seeped from the cut, dripping into the water, swirling around like dust in the clear water.

He watched as it dripped and made a little sound as it hit the surface of the tub water. "It makes it go away. The pain...It just disappears..." he whispered. His vision traveled to look at each scar on his wrists, "This is my punishment...For letting myself be violated...For letting those people take advantage of me...This is what I deserve..."

He laid his head against the wall behind him, staring up at the pristine ceiling. He could feel the burning in his arm as he let it dip under water. "What would Akira say about this...?" he softly told himself, letting his eyes slip closed, "...He'd be more disappointed then ever..."

Fuyumi sighed gently as she assisted the maids in setting up.  
"Miss Ootori, uhm..." A maid stuttered, "May I ask...How has Master Kyoya been...?" Turning, Fuyumi offered the maid a bit of a sad smile.

"He's been a bit distant for...For a while...But I think he's getting better." she added. She honestly did think that. For a few weeks, Kyoya hadn't shown any signs of being more than just a bit depressed. No, he hadn't returned to school, but he was a bit more social. He hadn't seen the Host Club for a while, though. He would call each of them, or they'd call him, and he's actually answer. She felt a bit more relieved at hearing that.

Looking up, she wondered how her brother was doing... _'He hasn't spoken to us about...The accident, or even the test results for days...Wonder how he's doing...?'_

Upstairs, Kyoya was getting dressed. He pulled on his recently adopted black t shirt and a pair of black slacks. Luckily, the loose fitting pants hid his even more slender legs. He slowly sat down on the edge of the tub, his fingers running over his new cuts. "Why am I doing this...? Why...?" he whispered.

He rolled things around his head for a while...

The rape...How it ruined everything...Now he was the black smear of the family. Like a deep black streak of paint piercing through his family's beautiful portrait...

Then the stress of the accident...How he couldn't even be touched...When Tamaki grabbed a hold of his waist like that...It just made that night flash in his sight...The image of...Those people holding him...Caressing his body...It made his stomach lurch in disgust.

Then, the car accident...His oldest brother going into a coma...Not responding...They just might lose him...By now, tears were in his eyes...He could still see Akira in that bed...So pale, so limp...As if he was dead...

And now...Now...

_'Now the test results...I'm...I'm positive for HIV...And I can't...I can't even get near my own boyfriend without worrying...'_ Kyoya trembled as his fists clenched his pants, _'Every time...He comes near me...I...I just remember that he doesn't know...What if he finds out and...And he leaves?'_ Those tears dripped in heavy drops as he began gasping, sobbing silently as he covered his mouth with a hand to stifle himself. _'I don't...I don't want to lose him! My Zeke...And I can't...I can't tell him, either!'_

Suddenly, he just stopped thinking...He was gasping, hyperventilating by now. His mind froze and he was stuttering, as if WANTING to speak...But could say anything...

Fuyumi was in the hall, checking on Rin, "Rin, come downstairs. Dinner's almost ready." she alerted.

The brunette smiled, "Alright, alright..." as he stood, the two were suddenly frightened by the sudden sound of screaming. As if someone was being murdered...Without a second thought, they rushed out of the room and to the sound. From Kyoya's closed bathroom they heard a sudden slam and loud pounding on the floor. The screaming continued, accompanied by the cries and wails of their younger brother.

"Kyoya! Kyoya, what's wrong?" Rin shouted, tyring his best to open the door, only to find it locked.

"Kyo-kun! Kyoya open the door! Please!" Fuyumi cried.

"I'm- I'm fine! I-I...!" Kyoya attempted to speak but, all his words were floored each time by some force and he could hardly breath now. "I-I can't- I can't breath! Breath...Can't!" he was slightly convulsing, arms trembling as he tried to make some sense of himself. Hell, he couldn't even understand what was wrong with him. He just felt a pressure in his mind, his muscles convulse and twitch with each move or thought...

"Kyoya unlock the door! Please, try that much at least!" Rin's voice shouted.

Through his panic and tears, Kyoya managed to grasp the knob and turn the lock to let his siblings in. He just watched as they rushed in a began trying to soothe him, but the more he tried to breath, the harder it was to think...His head felt light and dizzy.

"Kyo-kun! Kyoya, it's me! It's your sister..." Fuyumi said. Kyoya felt something held up to his face and caught the scent of alcohol. Naturally, he took in the smell, the scent seeming to just halt his panicked mind all together...

"Just relax, little brother...Relax..." Rin's soft voice said as Fuyumi pet the younger's raven hair. "It's okay...Relax. You're okay...You're alright."

Kyoya let his sister hold him as he tried to calm himself. He was mumbling...Muttering faint words as if trying to speak but the volume of his voice just wouldn't go up.

With a worried look, Fuyumi let Rin pick up Kyoya. "Just hold this to your nose, alright?" Rin instructed as he set the younger on the couch, handing him the cotton ball of alcohol. He watched as Kyoya trembled, his hands shaking and his body occasionally giving a twitch. "Fuyumi, stay with him. I'll be right back." Quickly, the brunette left.

Sitting beside him, Fuyumi gently rubbed her brother's shoulder, "Kyo...Talk to me...Tell me what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"I...I don't know..." was the struggled reply, as if Kyoya didn't even know how to speak anymore..., "I just...I...I don't know..I can't...Can't think...B-Breath...Hard...Hard t-to bre-breath..." hs words were shaking as well, and his finegrs nervously struggled with the cotton ball as his eyes stared off ahead, "Just...Want to- Want-" he sighed as if slightly frustrated, "I don't know- Don't know what I want anymore...Just...Can't sp-speak...Can't thi-think...M-My body twit-twitches every time I-I try to m-move or sp-speak..."

Concern washed over Fuyumi completely. She could see the panic in her brother's eyes...And she knew he was struggling... "Oh Kyo-kun...Kyoya..." she hugged the young teen, "It'll be okay...It'll be alright..."

Again, all she could hear was Kyoya's mumbles...Soft mutters of stutters and words toward himself, saying "I'm fine...I'll be fine...I...I'm okay..." as if speaking to himself...Or reassuring himself...She looked at what remained of her brother...And slowly saw how broken he was...How shattered he had become...And how frail he was left now...

_'Kyoya...Kyoya please hold on...I can't...I just can't stand seeing you like this...'_

**o-o-o-**

**There it is...After so long...I give you this...I...Had my own little...Attack and...And I was struck with this idea...Uhm...I...I'm sorry for the delay...And for...For shutting down the Pokemon crossover...Please...Review and...Don't be upset. Thank you... **


	19. Chapter 19

**Oh dear, it's been so long. :/ I've had to force my way through this Writer's Block and I probably still not over it yet. DX But, a friend of mine **_**(who is currently reading this fic. x3)**_** on deviantART **_**(Color-Pixie~ x3 I love you~ :'D)**_** said that I should probably just open a document and write away. XDDD So...I'm doing just that! I REALLY wanna finish this fic one day, so I can finally be proud that I finished such a GREAT fic. **_**(I think it's great because of all of you readers. *heart* I love you all, too~)**_** So, after making you all wait, and after recovering from much mental instability, I am proud to finally put this up. :'D **

**DISCLAIMER: YOU KNOW WHAT I OWN AND WHAT I DON'T. I SHAN'T GIVE IN TO THE SOPA/PIPA BILLS. XDDDD **

**-O-O-O- **

**Chapter 19 **

It was so quiet, just like last week. He didn't want to be here. It had been just a few days since his little incident in the bathroom. Kyoya could still remember the aftermath he had the next day...

_...A few days earlier... _

Fuyumi carefully cracked open her little brother's bedroom door, seeing him curled up on the couch. Assuming he was asleep, she walked in, making her way as silently as possible to the couch. She peered over the back and looked at Kyoya.

His hair was messy and his eyes were closed as he lay on the couch, glasses resting on the table in front of him. Reaching down, the Ootori daughter gently brushed the raven bangs from Kyoya's pale face. Her fingers brushed his cheek, and he woke with a jump, onyx eyes wide in slight panic as he looked up. Once he saw it was Fuyumi he sighed slightly and layed back down, relaxing.

"I didn't mean to bother you..." the sister said, moving to kneel beside his head, "Are you feeling better...?" The entire day yesterday, Kyoya had refused to talk, only faintly whispering his words, as if afraid to talk any louder. The siblings and their father had to literally silence themselves just to catch what he said.

"...A...a l-little..." was the shaky, uncertain response. That was another effect that stayed. Kyoya spoke in short, stuttering words. It sounded as if he wasn't sure _what_ he wanted to say, or how we should say it...As if he forgot how to talk.

Fuyumi was worried for her brother. How much more could the young teenager take? Again she pet his hair, watching as the raven boy closed his eyes once more and relaxed under his sister's touch. The sight gave her a smile, seeing her brother calm for once.

As Kyoya fell asleep again, the door opened and the brunette brother walked in. "Is he any better?" Rin asked.

"He said a little...But his words were still quiet and stuttered..." Fuyumi reported. Rin took a seat at the end of the couch. He watched his brother sleep before speaking, "Sometimes I wonder if he really is getting better at all..."

"Rin...We're all worried..." Fuyumi said, "But, we can't force him to move on...He needs to do that all on his own." Getting up, she passed behind Rin, "I'm going downstairs...When he wakes up, can you bring him down to eat something?" Rin gave his nod and listened as the door shut. He watched his brother continue sleeping, silently hoping for a better outcome in the next few days...

_...Back to the present..._

"Kyoya?"

Snapping out of his daze, the raven boy looked back to his therapist, "I...I'm sorry..." he said.

Smiling, Joanna shook her head, "It's fine. I was just worried. You were just staring off again...You've been doing that for about a good while now..." her smile became a concerned look, "Is there anything you want to talk about...?"

Looking down, Kyoya only tightened his hold around his legs, keeping them against his chest on the sofa he was in.

"...Your family told me about your accident..." Flinching for a moment, he let her go on, "Kyoya, are you sure you don't want to talk...? At all? If you don't, the same thing's going to happen again, and it could be worse...I'm here for a reason-"

"I don't know what to do anymore..." he cut her off. Joanna silenced herself when he spoke. "...I have a boyfriend..." Kyoya started, "He doesn't know that...I've been infected with HIV...And, I'm worried, that when he finds out, he'll leave me..."

The silence in the room was thin, but for Kyoya it was uncomfortable. He looked at Joanna. The woman gave a thought before talking, "It'd be best to bring it up to him soon...If your relationship gets serious, he'd never forgive you for keeping it hidden..."

"I'd never let myself go that far with him when I know what could happen." he quickly said, "I could never let myself hurt him like that...I'd never forgive myself..."

"But if you tell him now, I'm sure you and him can discuss it and get around it while still being happily together...You know...?"

Taking her words in, Kyoya lowered his eyes, _'She's right...Zeke...Zeke loves me, and he wouldn't just leave...If I tell him, I'm sure...I'm sure he and I can still be together...He wouldn't let it get between us...'_ he nodded, as if reassuring himself, "Thank you, Joanna..."

Smiling, Joanna replied happily, "Any time."

Kyoya thought for a moment longer before looking at her, "Joanna...Would you...want to meet my oldest brother...? The one that..." he trailed off. Knowing what he was saying, the woman smiled again.

"I'd like to...I never really got to see him...I don't have anymore appointments for today, so we can go." was the answer.

Kyoya nodded, falling silent again...

**-Later...- **

Kyoya and Joanna stepped into the white hall of the hospital. As usual, the chilly air caused the raven haired teen to shiver, making him feel cold and even nervous. _'No matter how many times I come in here...It still makes me shiver...'_ he thought as they headed to the room he was familiar with.

As the door opened, Kyoya was surprised to see someone was already visiting Akira.

"Rin?"

The brunette sibling looked up from his seat beside his older brother, "Oh, hi Kyoya." he greeted and then saw the young woman with his younger brother, "Miss Joanna? What are you doing here?" He was confused at the sight of his brother's therapist coming.

"Your brother invited me to come meet Akira. I only got to see him once and it wasn't much of a sight..." the young woman approached the bed, looking at the pale raven laying there. She looked at the boy, seeing the white bandages around his head, and the few covering injuries on his arm, "He was in a pretty bad accident...Wasn't he?" she said cautiously.

Rin nodded slightly, "We were hit by another car...I was fine. Before we started driving he was the one who reminded me to put on my seat-belt but...He was so busy talking to me that he..." his words slowly trailed off.

"Rin you can't blame yourself." Kyoya told his brother, "Akira wouldn't want you to...It was an accident..."

Slowly, Rin stood up and passed his brother, "Kyoya..." he said softly, "...I'll see you at home..." then he left, leaving the raven and his therapist alone with Akira.

Kyoya looked down slightly before leading Joanna to Akira. He stared down at his brother and gently grabbed the bandaged hand in his, feeling the warmth on Akira's palm. _'It's the one thing that makes me know that he's still alive...'_ he thought. He could only watch as his brother lay on the bed as he held his hand, gently tracing patterns on the smooth skin. _'Akira...I miss you...But I...I know you'll come back...I know you will...'_ Kyoya thought.

**-O-O-O- **

**Ah, there it is...After so long, I come back with this unwanted stuff... :c I'm sorry it's taken so long and that it's not very good... T^T Life's been a bit tough plus I have Writer's Block so...I'm sorry. **

**Reviews, would be nice... **


	20. Chapter 20

**Good day to everyone and how have you all been!? I was looking back on some of your reviews and to know you people were STILL waiting even after a whole YEAR of no updates, I told myself, "I MUST finish this fanfic! These people want it and I must give it to them!" So, thank you, all of you, for giving me the motivation to continue this and I will do everything in my power to update this, even if it's slowly! I've been struggling with a lot this past year, from family issues, to financial, to emotional, and even in terms of health. **

**November I had stomach problems, resulting in nausea every day and a horrible loss of appetite and disgust that made eating impossible, so I lived off saltines and water for about a week or two (I lost about 8 pounds in that time and so because of that and now have to eat every so often to avoid feeling dizzy or faint, and to avoid feeling a hunger that's so painful it feels like I haven't eaten in weeks.) and am now currently fighting a cold that has been making a lot of things difficult, including sleep, so I don't get much sleep at night these past few days.**

**I've been working on this chapter little by little each day since the summer. So, without any more stalling, I present to you all: The newest chapter and reopening of "Shattered Inside"! ****Also, please, please, PLEASE, read the ending Author's Note. Please!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of Ouran's characters or settings. I own the O.C's and the plot. I do not condone any form of self-harm of any form. I do not make any profit from writing this fictional story. All official characters are property of Bisco Hatori.**

**-oOoOo- **

Days passed since Joanna had gone to visit the eldest of the Ootori children. She had spent the time speaking to the young man, as though Akira would respond. She had told him about how she and Kyoya had spoken during their sessions, and that she was fond of Kyoya and that Akira must have been proud to be the older brother of someone like him. She never brought up any negative topics that had been brought up during the sessions. She felt as though doing so would hinder Akira's recovery.

Despite the praise from the woman, Kyoya didn't feel proud in any way. In fact, shame was all he felt. Shame because of the ugly markings littering his arms, marks that he has yet to really reveal to anybody. Should anyone find out of them, there'd be nothing but disappointment coming from everybody. He was supposed to be better than this…Everyone thought that way about him. That he was strong.

He wasn't.

In the passing days, said tendency had become a regular occurrence. New scars were added, old ones reopened. It was all Kyoya could do to cope. It soothed his unhappiness…It numbed him. And nobody knew. Nobody would know. He'd make sure of it.

In the few days after the visit to Akira's hospital room, contact between Kyoya and Zeke varied. With Zeke attending Ouran, and Kyoya remaining at home with private tutoring, the two found visits difficult, and even more so with Kyoya's isolation from people. However, when the two did see one another, they were visits spent well. Intimacy wasn't a main factor to them, but it didn't seem to bother either of them. Neither was in the relationship simply for such carnal things. They enjoyed one another in another way: Enjoying each other's company. To Kyoya, especially, this was special.

"So, how's everyone?"

The two were in the Ootori's bedroom, the raven seated on the couch with his blond companion's head rested on his lap. Painter's fingers laced their way through the mess of hair as he asked the question.

Pierced lips formed into a smile before they answered, "Everything's okay. The Host Club is still moving smoothly." Zeke answered, sapphire eyes looking up into onyx ones.

"Of course it is. I made you and Haruhi take my place while I'm absent." Since Kyoya had returned to isolation, he decided to leave the Host Club's budget in the hands of Haruhi and Zeke, the two being rather intelligent individuals, despite Zeke's appearance and personality. The Baxter heir was considered to be a near prodigy in his family and was taught well by his father how to maintain a business moving smoothly without slipping into debt, and along with the Honor student's frugal lifestyle, the club would run smoothly and evenly. Kyoya felt that he and Haruhi would be suitable candidates to help take his place.

A playful grin overcame the Baxter's face, "Aw, you're too kind. We do our best though, especially with keeping the budget balanced." He said with the usual care free smile over his features, "Haruhi is a sharp girl, too. She's down right smart." It hadn't taken long for Zeke to figure out that the Natural Host wasn't a male. He said she was much too feminine in appearance to be a boy, but found it rather cute to see her in Host Club. Everyone believed that was why the peppy blond had taken such a liking to Haruhi and stood by her side any time he could.

"Of course she is. She was accepted into Ouran on a scholarship. She has to be smart to achieve such a feat." Kyoya stated casually, "Her only flaw being the debt she owes on the Host Club for the accident that had occurred the day she met us." In his lap Zeke frowned somewhat, brown brows furrowing and sapphire eyes being half-lidded with slight reprimand to his boyfriend.

"You guys really need to let that go, man." The cross-dresser said, "I mean, come on, it was a vase and it was an accident. Poor girl was probably petrified by you all." Of course his nonchalant view of the situation was much different as he didn't know the price of the beautiful vase and even if he did, he tended to brush off things like that. At times, Kyoya worried that Zeke was just _too_ carefree…

"The vase was for an auction and we lost out on a large sum of money. Perhaps you just need to see things in a more financial point of view." The raven haired teen retorted and lightly knocked his fist into the feminine blond's forehead, earning a surprised little sound and a pout. He laughed at the blond's face until his arm was grabbed and lightly chewed on, "I'm not your personal teething toy, Xephyr." He chided, yet allowed the pearly white teeth to continue biting his sleeved arm. It was amusing for a while. "-!" a small hiss came from Kyoya as he winced at a certain bite. Instinctively, the Ootori pulled his arm away, the whole reaction startling Zeke, who sat up quickly.

"Sorry! Are you okay?" Attempting to grab his boyfriend's arm to check for any bite marks, Zeke was even more surprised when Kyoya pulled away a second time, "Kyo, let me see. Did I bite too hard?" he insisted with a guilty expression on his face, and again, Kyoya kept his arm from him.

"It's fine, I promise."

It fell silent between the two and became rather tense, uncomfortably so… The blond frowned in concerned, brows coming together in a somewhat saddened manner, "Kyo…" he started before the cellphone on the small table in front of the couch vibrated, the sound shattering the silence instantly. For a second, they ignored it, but the vibration on the table's surface became bothersome very quickly, and Zeke reached for it silently, glimpsing at the name before standing and flipping it open, "Hi, Dad." He said, walking out of Kyoya's room and into the hallway, leaving the raven in the room.

Alone, Kyoya gave a soft sigh before drawing the sleeve of his shirt up, assessing the damage done. When Zeke had been chomping at his arm, his teeth had bitten right into a multitude of still fresh pink and red injuries. In fact, the bites had managed to cause the marks to begin bleeding. The Shadow King stood up and immediately headed to his desk, opening a drawer and quickly opening a few bandages stored away there, placing each one over the injuries until they were properly covered up. He'd just barely thrown the wrappers away when the blond came back into the room.

"I have to go." The cross-dresser said, yet there was a rather heavy feel about him. Something had been discussed between the young heir and his father and it was obviously something that wasn't good. Yet he approached Kyoya and gave the best smile he could despite his dampened mood before placing a quick peck at the raven's lips, "I'll try and give you a call tonight, alright?" he offered before gathering his backpack from the end of the couch and exiting the room.

Something in the very pit of the Shadow King's stomach told him that something wasn't alright, yet he found himself caring less and less. Lately, things were stacked with bad news one right on top of another. The feeling of dread hanging over him like a horrible black cloud was nothing new to him, and he was in fact growing more and more used to it by the day. A heavy sigh left the Ootori's lips and he let himself fall onto the couch, a hand removing his glasses before rubbing at tired onyx eyes…

**-oOoOo-**

It had been hours and still no call from Zeke. Anxiety was eating away at Kyoya. He spent the entire afternoon locked away in his painting room. He didn't paint, only laid on the floor staring at the ceiling. He'd occasionally roll to his side, closing his eyes and drifting into a light sleep, but nothing else. The longer he waited for Zeke, the less motivation he had for anything. During the evening, he had to have his younger sibling pine for him to come downstairs to the dinner table and even then it took a while for him to come out.

It wasn't until hours later did he hear anything from Zeke. It was nearly eleven when the cellphone lit up, silently alerting the Shadow King of a new message. Flipping it open, it read '1 New Text', as well as displaying the Baxter heir's name.

'_I need to talk to you about something. Can we meet somewhere?'_

Despite the lack of a voice, something inside the Ootori told him that there was something very wrong. It was a sinking sensation in the very bottom of his stomach. There wasn't any hesitation as he got up from bed, covers being thrown to one side of the bed. He headed to his dresser, dressing himself and pulling a sweater over his lithe frame before quietly exiting his room and entering the plain hallways. The household was dark, everybody being in bed or locked in their rooms with work.

Kyoya headed down the halls to the staircase, shoes in his hands so to not make any noise on the off-white marble flooring. His silent steps took him down the staircase, the foyer lit up only by moonlight that seeped in through the windows. Much like the hallway, it too was off-white marble flooring and matching dull walls, decorated with simple large houseplants at either side of the stairs. Bland and serious, much like the head of the Ootori family himself. Reaching the end of the stairs, he only paused to kneel and get his shoes on.

"Master Kyoya?"

The raven stiffened, fingers halting from their tying of his shoelaces. Glancing over his shoulder, he was somewhat relieved to find that it was his maid, Ayane. The stoic woman stared at her Master, almost chiding him mentally. "Master Kyoya." She repeated, "What are you doing up so late?" By the way she sounded, it was obvious she knew why, but simply asked so Kyoya would answer out loud. Her tone, posture, and expression in her eyes could resemble that of a scolding mother. She watched him return to his full height, still maintaining a calm expression on her face.

"If you must know, I am to meet someone. You are to not tell a word to anyone." The Ootori ordered, looking back to the woman with an expression that matched hers, "I'll return soon, however." He added to avoid any worry from the woman that he'd be out for hours, "Remember. Not a word to anyone."

"I'll do my best, Master Kyoya."

With those words said, the raven quickly left the home, running down the lengthy driveway of the estate until he reached the street. Glancing from one direction to another, the Shadow King was partially relieved to see nobody around. He quickly headed down the street, heading to the corner that he'd been asked to meet the Baxter heir at. The area of town he was in was well lit, housing some high class families. It wasn't hard to find the blond, standing beneath the light of a street lamp, bundled up in a form fitting red and black thigh-length plaid coat, a hood drawn over his head and hiding the eye-catching spikes of his hair. As soon as the sapphire eyes saw Kyoya, they lit up and Zeke immediately threw himself at his boyfriend.

The two stayed attached, Zeke's arms tight around the Ootori's torso and enjoying the warmth of Kyoya's body, "So glad to see you…" he mumbled into the dark sweater. A quiet sigh came from him, his body and mind relaxing as he buried his nose into Kyoya's chest. Hands held his waist gently, rubbing slow and soothing circles along his lower back. If anything in the world could put him at ease, it was Kyoya. He carried a relaxing feeling around him. The calm and in-control personality, the surprising warmth he gave off when alone, the way he just held Zeke in a protective kind of embrace, it was all just perfect to the prodigy blond. The sapphire hues closed, his mind falling into a relaxed state.

The moment hardly lasted however. Despite being glad to have his boyfriend back in his hold, Kyoya needed to know what was wrong. "What happened, Zeke?" he questioned, keeping a quiet tone, afraid that if he spoke louder, the entire moment would shatter completely like a fragile glass picture. He glanced down, loosening his hold on the young man just enough to be able to see him. His concern only grew even more when the lovely sapphire eyes refused to look at him. "Zeke." He insisted, attempting to lean down to catch a glimpse of his exuberant boyfriend, but each time he leaned down, Zeke would simply look away, intent on keeping their gaze apart. "Xepher." Using the biological name instead caused a flinch to come from Zeke and only then did the smaller male give a sigh before looking up with hesitation.

"My dad wants to send me back to America."

Such a simple statement, yet it delivered a blow to Kyoya that was much harder than any punch to the stomach. Onyx eyes widened somewhat from behind glasses and slender painter's fingers tightened their hold on the heir's lithe form. Silence enveloped the area, tense and heavy, reflecting just how they both felt. It was almost hard for Kyoya to form the question he had to ask, "Why…?"

The cross-dresser moved forward, face burying itself into the Shadow King's chest, "…He knows." He murmured quietly, "A lot of people know about what happened…And have seen the…" he trailed off, not wanting to continue with the sentence. Shaking his head, he moved on with his words, "He knows that…That you're not like that, but…He doesn't want me to get sucked in and- And I'm so sorry, Kyoya…" His hands, which had found their way to his boyfriend's chest, gripped the sweater Kyoya wore, shaking as he tried to keep himself composed, "I'm sorry…" he uttered again, "This is my fault. It's been my fault since the beginning." Clinging to the taller boy, Zeke bit his lip to hold back the sorrowful sounds that threatened to come out of him.

For a while, the air just seemed to carry Zeke's occasional whimpers and nothing else. The taller of the two kept his arms around the upset youth, comforting him as best he could. Leaning his head down so his lips brushed against the blond locks near Zeke's temple, Kyoya placed a gentle kiss to the pale skin before murmuring, "Please don't say it's your fault." He said, "It's not. Nothing is."

"Yes it is!" Was the shouted reply, Zeke's head quickly snapping up to stare up at the Shadow King with tear filled eyes, "I dragged you to the party. I let you out of my sight. I could have stopped it all from happening…But I didn't." His head dropped once more, fingers still clutching at the raven's sweater, "…I'm sorry…" He only lifted his eyes when Kyoya leaned down to stare at his face.

"It's okay…" Despite saying so, though, Kyoya really wasn't sure if it'd be okay. Without the blond at his side, he wasn't sure what he'd do. Zeke had done so much for him, even though the cross-dresser was unaware of it. With him gone, he was worried that his current state may spiral even further out of his control…

"It's not okay, Kyo…Because there's something else I need to say…"

Kyoya was worried that Zeke moving away would make clinging to sanity even more of challenge…But at the end of that night, as he headed back to the estate, he was certain that clinging to life itself was going to be near impossible…

'_Happiness can't ever last forever…' _

**-oOoOo-**

**And so I have completed another chapter! It is 12 AM and sleep is far from my grasp, the back of my sinuses and throat are sore and irritated, and I am feeling that painful hunger, but I finished! I'm so sorry for the long wait! I really am, and I do intend to continue this story, because of the lovely reviews I have received! From questions asking when I'll continue, to overall saying what they enjoyed, to someone even saying that this fic has helped them in their life. You guys are the reason I have the motivation to continue and I hope you guys continue to give me that support! **

**Also, PLEASE READ HERE: I am doing Art Commissions on my tumblr and deviantART right now to raise money for my summer convention, Anime Expo, and because I have had trouble finding a job, Commissions are the only way I can think of in getting any kind of money for the convention. If you want to see my most recent work with my tablet, please visit my Tumblr blog "little-vani-nilla" and my find me on deviantART under the username "xXAna-ChristXx" and look at my work. If you have any questions on the Commissions, please message me here on , Tumblr, or deviantART. **

**Again, thank you everyone for your support and I will try my best to continue this fic little by little. Please bear with me! **

**Reviews are very much appreciated! **


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